Hi!!! I'm 18f and not wonderful at articulating myself, so I hope I'll make sense in this post.
I've worshipped the Lord in various denominational settings in my life. Non denominational, bapist, Lutheran. I even briefly started down the path of the LDS church. One thing is that I never really cared about the denominational differences, I just went where I figured I would be able to well and truly feel God.
The thing is, all of my experiences in the past were defined by the direct people making them, not really the strong spiritual aspect if that makes sense. I love the people I know from those groups but I attended church and did other things along those lines with them for the community aspect because while I was trying desperately hard to feel that spiritual connection in their spaces I just couldn't fully fit with it. Then I started looking into Catholicism, reading about the differences between it and Protestantism, watching informational Youtube videos, reading articles and such and to phrase it lamely, I like it a lot more. It clicks with my heart. The stricter feel and the absolute structure of it all makes me happy, too, as I crave set in stone structure very much. The more I learn about it all, the more I feel like I really will finally feel spiritually fufilled in the Catholic church.
I haven't ever gone to a Mass. I've also never prayed the Rosary since I don't own one and don't really know where to get one.There's a lovely looking Catholic church in my town but I would have to ask a member of my family for a ride and I don't want them to judge me honestly.
I know I should go try to chat with the priest at the church and that is my logical next step but I am nervous and unsure. I have autism and am very bad at conversations and social stuff. What if he's not nice? What if he asks me a question I don't know how to answer and then I look stupid? What if I don't know what to say or accidently come off weird or standoffish or both like I sometimes do? I'm wondering if that is definitivly the next thing I have to do or if I can just start by trying to learn the Rosary or something.