u/Fun-Refrigerator710

!Tigger Warning SA and other sensitive topics discussed! Hi, you won’t ever read this.. which is a good thing in my opinion. I’ve been through a lot, which is an understatement in full honesty. I’ve been struggling since the beginning of high school. Being SA my freshman year sent me over the edge. Well what was left. I attempted my life 4 times, you won’t know how because I know it hurts enough knowing I didn’t want to be here anymore. I haven’t SH nor attempted for over 2 years. I have been better overall, but sometimes my depression hits harder than other times. It is hitting me really hard currently, it’s hard to explain so I just say I’m exhausted. Which this is true but it’s not just physically. I go through the motions of the day. I smile, laugh, go to work and act like everything is okay. But… the mask is slipping at least to some degree. People are beginning to see the signs that my depression is worse at this moment. I say “it’s a rough patch or I’m used to it” because what else can I say. It’s hard to tell you I’m falling into a place I don’t know how to describe. The only way I can even make you try to understand is to say I’m tired overall both mentally and physically. Explaining that I’m just sad isn’t what it is. I just feel numb most times, I don’t want to attempt or SH I just feel lost. (To anyone who reads this post I am getting the help I need. I go to therapy and I am checked on very often)