Okay, so this is going to be a little weird, but hear me out.
Uncompetitive Inhibitors force the enzyme and substrate to keep having sex for a long time (↓ Km = ↑ affinity) and don’t allow them to orgasm (↓ Vmax).
Noncompetitive Inhibitors are cucks that make the enzyme very uncomfortable. Enzyme and substrate can still have sex like normal (no change in Km), but the enzyme is struggling to get hard (↓ Vmax).
Competitive Inhibitors are the “other woman” that the enzyme cheats with. The substrate is mad at the enzyme for cheating on it (↑ Km = ↓ affinity). But the substrate isn’t a girls girl, so it tries to fight the inhibitor instead. The substrate starts lifting to get strong (increase [S]) and eventually is able to fight the inhibitor and win. Unfortunately, the substrate has very low self-esteem, so instead of breaking things off with the enzyme, they continue their relationship (Vmax unchanged).