I designed this logo for a band last year, and it's just not there. I've looked at it far too much, and I can't figure out what it needs. I've tried to adjust the contrast in the strokes, but I can't get it to look "correct." I've tried to clean up the linework, but it comes out being too artificial. I want it to read better, feel professional, but not clinically clean, but I'm just not getting it. I started from an amateur font, so I'm sure that's 90% of my issue, but I can't figure out how to push it to looking better in general.
Look for any critique I can get. More a production artist than a logo designer, so I'm happy to hear what anyone has to say.
EDIT: I didn't realize the transparency on the original made viewing difficult in certain situations.