Exhausted by my catnapper baby
Looking for some advice for my 12 week old (second baby of mine) who just catnaps all day... I can't get him to sleep for longer than 20-40 minutes each nap which results in an overtired, cranky and unpleasant baby to deal with, especially at night. Nights are so difficult right now as from 5pm is when it all goes even more downhill. It is taking a really long time to get him down for the night. My husband and I finally get him to sleep by around 10pm only because he is knocked out by being beyond exhausted. He has been a contact napper baby since about 3 weeks old but finally I've been able to get him to sleep in his bassinet for about 2 weeks now after getting him to sleep in my arms and transfering him but as I said the naps don't last longer than 40 minutes. Daytime naps have always been a struggle since birth though. I have turned to playing white noise in the background, have the room temperature between 18-22 degrees, curtains are closed (not pitch black in the room though), he has a good feed before bed and he is swaddled.
I am trying to save most naps by getting him back to sleep in my arms or doing a carrier nap but even that's not working most of the time. When he wakes from his nap I am pausing and waiting for a few moments to see if he can get back to sleep but usually he starts fussing and getting upset so that's when I know to step in to help save the nap. To top it off he honestly does a poo 9/10 times just as he has closed his eyes to get to sleep. This doesn't help as I wonder if the poos are preventing him from sleeping longer. I change the poos most of the time but if he just has fallen asleep after a really long time trying to get him to sleep I leave it. I am observing proper wake windows for his age (1 hour-1.5 hours) but he honestly is exhausted by 1 hour being awake as he has red eyebrows, is fussy, staring into the distance etc.
I feel I am at my wit's end with having a screaming baby every night. It's creating tension and lots of discomfort for our family especially our marriage. My husband and I seem to be fighting everyday now because we are in a state of fustration and anger over having a screaming baby that just won't sleep and settle. We aren't really enjoying having another baby right now. It's especially difficult with having a toddler to also look after. It all seems too much and honestly right now I can't even imagine ever having more kids. Totally get why people are two and done.
My husband is very hands on and supportive despite our difficulties. He mostly helps with looking after our toddler while I do most of the newborn stuff as I am breastfeeding.
Did anyone go through this and if so have you got any advice and when did your baby start sleeping better throughout the day so that they weren't constantly overtired?
Sincerely, a tired and frustrated mumma.