8 year age gap situationship
I’m a non-local who dated this sg guy in his 30s for a short period (which i got cheated on after).
Been reflecting on this on & off for a long time since ending things , and i still can’t help but feeling the rage of not protecting myself better back then.
Looking back, i felt bullied throughout the time we were “together”. I had never been unfaithful to him, yet ironically, i was always the one being accused and suspected. Every time i caught him, he’d become strangely defensive and come up with excuses to cover his actions.
As someone who struggles to express feelings openly, it was difficult enough for me to communicate what i was going through. He’d always corner me with remarks like, “cmon, you’re better than this”only to gaslight me after I poured my heart out. Calling me childish, immature.
I felt incredibly small while i was with this person, and i had never experienced this kind of treatment in any other rs before.
Countless 🚩 that I overlooked upon reflection:
- Hiding infidelity under the excuse of ‘meeting clients’.
- Picking apart my appearance and mocking my insecurities (calling my feet big).
- Judging me for still relying on my parents support for housing and a car (im turning 26).
- Instead of showing genuine concern for my skin (breakouts from work stress), kept suggesting cosmetic procedures and ways to “fix” it.
- Constantly comparing me to other women (even random xmm we came across during dates).
- Objectifying women (abt how msian / thai girls are supposedly “more submissive”).
- Mocking me when i last cried & expressed doubts about his loyalty in the rs.
- Making me feel ashamed after what we had shared together (calling me horny like wtf.)
- Never show genuine interest in my job, simple as life, hobbies, topics I share etc.
Why did I even settle for this person who lacks accountability & seeking for endless novelty.