I started YouTube last week and I've seen some decent earnings so far. It’s nothing life-changing, just enough for some lunch money and maybe start paying off the United States' national debt. I'm not claiming to have all the answers, but I want to help those of you one step behind me.

Quantity over quality

• Last week I uploaded 54 million videos.
• The average youtuber uploads once per week, if even that.
• If you're not uploading enough videos, the odds for going viral won't be in your favour. It's simple math.
• I'm planning on scaling this up until the majority of videos on the entire platform are made by me. Very soon I'll be able to buy the entirety of Google (Alphabet Inc), so server issues shouldn't be a problem.
• If the entire YouTube database is flooded with your videos, people will have no choice but to watch them.

Thumbnails are just as important as the video (how I achieved 100% clickthrough rate)

• There's no point making a video if people don't click on it.
• Your thumbnails must be physically impossible to ignore. I'm not kidding.
• This can be achieved through making use of quantum immortality.
• Every time a user ignores my thumbnail, I trigger the wavefunction collapse of a quantum entangled radioactive isotope, linked to a nucleation event of a lower-energy vacuum state. In layman's terms, this means if they do not click on my thumbnail, the universe ceases to exist.
• Due to the many world's interpretation of quantum mechanics, we always end up experiencing the parallel universe where they clicked the thumbnail, because its the only universe in the multiverse that survives!
• Using this strategy, I have recently achieved a 100.00% clickthrough rate.

Aggressive monetisation

• You might be wondering how I earned a payment 10 times larger than the entire annual revenue of Google.
• To get a $1.3 trillion payment last week, I had to use some unconventional monetisation methods.
• I cancelled my sponsorship with Nord VPN and started running ads targeted for the U.S. Department of War.
• I get a 7.5% commission on every stealth bomber sold!
• I realised that the Federal Reserve executives watch YouTube.
• After a few phone calls, I managed to set my channel's currency to "Fractional Reserve Debt". Now the federal reserve can directly "print" money into my account, bringing my RPM (Revenue Per Million Views) up to $2,530,608.

I hope that helps. Any questions, just ask!