u/Fuckallofyall13

Ok i don’t use reddit alot and just use it to see leaks of viral videos going on in the internet but heres what i really wanna talk about i live in a toxic household my mom wants a job applies for many jobs but yet ALWAYS get denied so no money to go somewhere else and cut off my dad right but the worst part my dad is an act asshole not just the regular normal arguing with my mom but remembers right from wrong and not doing traumatic shit infront of a 4 year old nono he does the exact opposite and he keeps traumatizing me and my mom like almost every fucking year of my life and oh did I mentioned hes a misogynistic and controlling alcoholic when my mom tried getting a job when i was 4 or just trying to go the gym he would always say something backhanded or “ew” and would then his hypocritical ass would call my mom fat when she didn’t go to the gym anyways on that job part he said “as long as we are married you cant have a actual job under my house” its sad to see my mother change from this she still is a sweet person but sometimes she is a bit off shes has no friends contacts almost no one because of this relationship she started realizing it was toxic and no fixing for it in 2022 started locking in for jobs in last year but she’s getting denied every single time or its a very short term job my dad spreads rumors to his family and friends and one time contacted HER AUNT and cousin ( they didint believe him ) to insult my mom and makeup lies he complain’s about food like a 5 year old and scream and if we speak too loudly he yells but he always talks loudly with his friends at 1 am , cross boundaries one time he hit my mom my mom said im going to call the cops on you he hid her phone so she cant do anything he also body shames me alot while i have bulimia thats going away now which is why im currently fucking starving myself plus getting harassed at school i was diagnosed with depression last year in the summer he started being supportive same depression caused by him and everything so i started feeling happy he was being a good dad up on until he used it as insult and would threaten to call the mental hospital for literally feeling SLIGHTLY sad or talking back when he said outrageous shit and would say weird stuff about me in general and slaps my thighs it feels very uncomfortable also wow guess what i started cutting since march 2025 to make my parents take me more seriously . I would prescribed 25 mg ofsetraline which btw never work i have no meds no therapy i get bullied im starving my friends are kind of avoiding me and i had depression since 7 from my trauma and early exposure to the internet my mom made me her fucking therapist sinve i was 9 always called the “mature kid”i always tell my mom to just stop that thing she eventually did but it still fucked me up other then that she never did anything bad to me im 13 and in the span from April 2025 to January 2026 i had very bad identity issues in like everything where my closest friend said to me “you know? you are a very different person now not in your personality but how you dress how you always have to change something from your face and your hair also hygiene “ for context before 6th grade in the deepest pits of my depression i had the worst hygiene since 4th grade took 1 or 2 times in a week showers i yes am 31 🔄 i know i sound corny im self aware but nobody will see this anyways yes im still depressed but trying to recover and its going alright i take showers 5 or 6x a week do my hair to feel better ❤️ i havent been taken to any psychologist after that so yeah no proper treatment my real problem is where me and mom live i have alot more to rant but this is already big rant bye.