Does this feeling ever stop ? In the quiet times, your face appears in my head. In moments that you shouldn't, you do. More so because I know what ever view, experience or even what restaurants Im indulging in, I know your face would be lit up with so much...enthusiastic expression.
That youd be somewhat impressed with what I was doing & no, its not because Im living to what youd enjoy. Its because Im learning to do things as an individual. I miss having you beside me or in front of me leading the way always up for an adventure. Thats something I lacked but slowly finding again.
Ya come up on my ig suggestions yesterday & I froze up. You look great, looking happy again & id just love to tell ya how proud of you I really am despite our departures.
Not a day goes by that I dont think of you, not a day goes by that I dont think of that life we could of had & not the one Im currently living.
Ups and downs and I do try to keep my boundaries with the depths of my involvement in things. Sounds a little worse than what it is but yeaah 'deep in' to what I didnt want to grt back into and its my own fault but I went back to some extent of what I knew just a little more redefined...
...Other than zoning out when you do decide to weigh in on my thoughts, there is something that weighs heavier than it all & thats when we eventually come face to face. Its bound to happen one day..unless you move or me deported...that moment sends tremors down my spine 😔 because one or two things will happen..Ill shatter in front of your very eyes or I gauge how you respond...
Misss my best friend...this one really hurt to write...