Parents of Reddit, is my mom being unfair with what she’s saying to me?
Sorry if the things I’m saying are all over the place. Also I mention sa once so if you’re uncomfortable with that topic I wouldn’t read.
I (f16) have been vaping for 5 months to deal with my anxiety. My mom went through my bag today and found out about what I’ve been doing. She decided to have a serious conversation with me after she found out. She asked me why I chose to go down this path. For context, I’ve been caught with beer before and my sex toy (yes ik it’s embarrassing to admit but oh well). I told her that I’ve been feeling depressed ever since I moved in with her and I don’t know how to deal with these feelings and i bottled it up since I felt like talking to her about them would make me feel like a burden. She tells me that she’s tried taken me to therapy before, getting me help, but I tell them that I’m okay and I basically refused to get help and push her away, so I shouldn’t be saying it’s her problem since she has tried to help me multiple times.
She then proceeds to tell me that she’s had very hard struggles in her life like her mom passing away, the trauma she had with my dads family after I was born, etc, and she’s gotten through all of it without doing the things I have done (vaping, drinking, masturbating). She called me selfish for not being able to realize my actions affect other people, and that I’m a slut for the clothes I wear. She says that I mask myself by hiding things from people and don’t value myself as a women and how it’s ironic I want to be a psychologist cause I want to help people that are struggling. She was like would I be comfortable right now telling kids I vape and dress not my age as a way to “help them”.
Also she said something along the lines of until I get r@ped, cheated on, something like that, then I’ll realize how there are real problems in life. She also says that she’s never truly loved me and we have completely different mindsets and paths so we are unable to actually bond as mother and daughter (I didn’t grow up with her). And then she told me that I’m gonna be a prostitute in the future.
I get everything she says and I know what I do is not right, but I don’t like how she compares her struggles to mine and basically right out slut shames me. Like yes I know deep down I’m selfish and I can’t help it, but also I feel like everything she says isn’t gonna do anything and she’s just tryna shame me.
I can’t tell if this is what I really need to hear and it’s the harsh truth or she’s doing too much. Parents of Reddit, what’s your perspective on this?