u/Free-Flounder2118

I’ve given some thought to relationships and finances. I want my partner and me to be able to afford to live independently and split the bills 50/50. It seems like the fairest arrangement to me when both people have the means. Chores would be 50/50 as well. There would be a joint account where we each contribute a fixed monthly amount, used for vacations and other things we want to do together.

Regarding what's left after that I see two options. If we both agree on investing for the future, we would each have our own separate investment accounts, but I would still consider that money shared, not in a legal sense but simply in how I think about it and approach it. However if my partner chooses not to invest, I won't treat my investments as joint assets as they opted out of planning for the future and I'm not willing to subsidize that choice. Whatever is left is personal spending money and I would most likely invest my portion if I had nothing else to spend it on.

I don’t want to have kids and I’m also not open to marriage. The way I see it, marriage primarily benefits the lower earner while exposing the higher earner to more risk. If things go wrong and you want to get out of the relationship, you have to factor in whether leaving is worth the amount you would lose and I don’t want to deal with that. I would still treat any money we invested together in our shared future as genuinely shared.

I’m not rigid about this. If my partner loses their job, I would be willing to help of course, but not indefinitely. I would expect them to put in the effort to actively job hunt and work toward contributing again. It’s the same standard I would hold myself to as I wouldn’t want to be a burden to my partner. If I want to go on a trip that our shared vacation savings can’t cover, I would pay the difference myself. Since it’s something I want to do, I wouldn't expect my partner to pay for it.

PS: Not in a relationship currently, early 20sM

I’ve given some thought to relationships and finances. I want my partner and me to be able to afford to live independently and split the bills 50/50. It seems like the fairest arrangement to me when both people have the means. Chores would be 50/50 as well. There would be a joint account where we each contribute a fixed monthly amount, used for vacations and other things we want to do together.

Regarding what's left after that I see two options. If we both agree on investing for the future, we would each have our own separate investment accounts, but I would still consider that money shared, not in a legal sense but simply in how I think about it and approach it. However if my partner chooses not to invest, I won't treat my investments as joint assets as they opted out of planning for the future and I'm not willing to subsidize that choice. Whatever is left is personal spending money and I would most likely invest my portion if I had nothing else to spend it on.

I don’t want to have kids and I’m also not open to marriage. The way I see it, marriage primarily benefits the lower earner while exposing the higher earner to more risk. If things go wrong and you want to get out of the relationship, you have to factor in whether leaving is worth the amount you would lose and I don’t want to deal with that. I would still treat any money we invested together in our shared future as genuinely shared.

I’m not rigid about this. If my partner loses their job, I would be willing to help of course, but not indefinitely. I would expect them to put in the effort to actively job hunt and work toward contributing again. It’s the same standard I would hold myself to as I wouldn’t want to be a burden to my partner. If I want to go on a trip that our shared vacation savings can’t cover, I would pay the difference myself. Since it’s something I want to do, I wouldn't expect my partner to pay for it.