(WLW) Did anyone find it hard being the parent that didn’t carry after the baby was born?
Hi guys, really looking for someone to relate to and some advice. My wife and I had our beautiful baby boy 4 months ago, I always originally wanted to carry and my wife was never too bothered.
However I found out I couldn’t so she graciously carried our baby boy, but I find since going back to work, I’m devastated, I don’t feel like a ‘mother’ as I’m not home with our baby and working the way a mother would be usually and traditionally the main caregiver, as I almost feel like a dad?
Even though I’m a cis woman, and these are very old traditional views of parenthood (I grew up Ireland- very rigid gender roles) so I know this is part of it and stupid because we are two women and parenthood shouldn’t feel gendered or be traditional but I can’t help how I feel.
it’s almost like a grief of what I thought motherhood was going to be, obviously I have a great attachment to my son and adore him but I want to feel like a mother in the sense and be main caregiver and the one that carried him.
I’m a nurse so I’m home late and gone early in the morning, I feel worried my son won’t feel connected to me as much as I feel to him. I spend every minute with him that I am home but I can see my son prefers my wife which is completely natural and normal as she is his main caregiver being home with him but I feel devastated, does this get better? Is there any way to help this and those of you with kids do they truly prefer the mom that carried?