Partner passed away before kids
Hi everyone,
My partner passed away 2 months ago, very suddenly, from a heart attack. He was 36, I am 29.
After being together more than 7 years, we were getting set up to have kids. I was changing some things professionally to make it easier, we were planning renovations in the house this year to make it safer for kids, and had travel booked this year that was the last big point on our "things to do before kids" list. We were speaking of marriage often, and basically just couldn't be bothered to organise a party so far (thinking we had all the time in the world).
I am grieving my partner, of course, but am also grieving the fact that I will never have his children, never have his last name. We even had a name picked out for a girl. I feel a lot of older relatives tell me I'm lucky there are no kids, and that I can "have a fresh start" - but I don't feel lucky about this at all. A child from him is all I wanted