I (16F) and my friend (15F) have been best friends since birth. Our families are extremely close and we live in the same house. (We live on separate floors.) We never got into arguments when we were younger but lately, I’ve been feeling like she’s been growing more angry at me, or angry in general.
I wanna preface this by saying that she does go to therapy and has been diagnosed with something, I don’t know exactly what though. I tried asking once but she seemed to be annoyed with the question so I let it go.
Last month or so, she had gotten into a huge argument with her sister (12F), also a close friend of mine. Her sister had come to our floor crying and told us what happened. Although I absolutely love my friend, it has seemed her sister was in the right. I didn’t say anything though, and just stayed to comfort her with my sister (12F). I didn’t go to comfort my friend because I know she hates being around others when she’s mad/sad. I didn’t think much of it but when we went to school the next day she started to completely ignore me. I thought she was mad at me because of that argument, so I asked her if I had done anything wrong. She told me I had done nothing wrong, and the next day she started talking to me again.
Two days ago we had two options for gym. Badminton and pickleball. She had wanted to play pickleball but I was really against the idea. Nevertheless, we decided to play it. However, there were only two courts and only doubles were allowed. Both courts were full. My friend insisted that we just squeeze in between the two courts in play like how it was being done on the badminton courts. I told her that it wasn’t allowed and I think she started to get frustrated from there. To ease her a bit, I asked the people playing on the court if we could squeeze in but they said no.
I think this may have been my mistake because she seemed to get even more frustrated. She told me that I didn’t need to ask. However, I had already knew about rule of “doubles only” on the court which I think she wasn’t aware of. We ended up walking away to grab badminton rackets, when I suggested that we ask the gym teacher about the situation. She went to ask and the teacher ultimately ended up saying the same thing, and that we had to wait for our turn.
I think this was where I made my one (of many) mistakes. She had asked me if I wanted to play still, and I replied by saying that I didn’t feel like playing with random people but if she wanted to we could wait. Thinking back now, I should have just said sure. She got visibly annoyed and walked away while saying “oh my god” and rolled her eyes. After that we played badminton but she was purposely not putting effort into it. I asked her again if she wanted to play [pickleball] now but she said no. I think she felt frustrated that she had to go through all that struggle to play pickleball just for me to say that I didn’t want to. Even though I said if she wanted to we could play, she already felt betrayed or angry and gave up on the idea.
After the period ended, she full on ignored me. I was already used to it (because of what happened before) but I still felt hurt. I think she’s valid to feel annoyed but I really wish she could talk it out with me. During lunch, she said she was going to eat at home and asked me if I wanted something from the store. This relieved me because I thought she wasn’t angry at me anymore. After school ended she met up with me to walk home (as we usually do) and I told her that I couldn’t walk home with her because I was treating my other friend out to dinner for her birthday. I asked her if she wanted to come along and offered to pay for her but she declined.
Then yesterday, I hadn’t seen or talked to her at all. We didn’t have gym because we skip that period so the only opportunity I had to talk to her was during lunch. However, yesterday I had a final essay the period after lunch so I ended up skipping lunch to study in the library. Then after school I waited for her to walk home together but she never showed up. I assumed she was in the guidance counselor again because that was the reason last time she didn’t walk home with me.
Then, today, I tried talking to her in the locker rooms before gym started and she said to give her some space. This, had never happened before. Before I simply thought she wanted to be alone but she never outright told me to leave her alone. I asked her if something was wrong but she said that there wasn’t. I accepted her request and left her alone during the rest of the day. However, I seriously can’t stop thinking about it. I’m deathly worried. I had a lump in my throat the entirety of the school day. I hate the thought of her being mad at me.
But the reason I wrote this post was to ask if I did anything wrong and how I should apologize in the near future. She said to give her space, but how long should that go? Should we be communicating instead? I’m not a good judgment of character, so I would appreciate to know if I did anything wrong here. I don’t know how I should go about things. Also sorry this is a bit of a handful to read.