According to Psychology today, the majority of suicide attempters regret their decision almost instantly, or after a period of reflection. Notably, a small study on survivors of Golden Gate Bridge suicide attempts found that 100% of survivors instantly regretted their decision after jumping.
To have a chance at escaping, evading the light trap and breaking through the grid, we need to approach the instant after death with Gnosis, purpose, and above all, focus. If we place ourselves in a state of panic through a “successful” suicide attempt, we risk being lured into the light trap in the guise of being able to go back and “undo” our attempt. We risk recovering too late from our panic, only recouping our resolve when we’re halfway up the light trap. Our confusion and trauma may cause us to forget our gnosis altogether.
Of course, other modes of death could also cause this, especially accidents, combat deaths, being caught in a war zone , any sudden death experience etc. But suicide is the cause of death most in our control. It is the only panic inducing cause of death we can directly avoid.
Prison planet theory also prevents me from ending things because it contextualises suffering. “Why is this happening to me” becomes, “This is happening to everyone”, and the suffering is unending because of the archonic system. Any joy I experience is offset by twice the disappointment, and three times the trauma, because the loosh from negative emotions is a staple crop for the Archons.
Some may read this and think I’m being ungrateful, but the crazy thing is I’m aware that I am one of the lucky ones in this system. Next section is something of a trauma dump so feel free to skip but perhaps someone might relate to something here.
TRAUMA DUMP
I live a middle class life in a “wealthy” western country - albeit one in decline. I was born into an unstable household that fluctuated wildly from affluence to poverty to something resembling affluence again - all of course corresponding with times in my life where that affluence and financial support would have been helpful.
I was groomed by a pedofile/ephebophile as a young teen. I’ve been raped later in life, and sexually assaulted, without justice.
I was born a black woman into a white country which liked to deny the existence of racism, only I’ve experienced direct racial bullying, n word and all. As a teenager, a person I only kissed at a party got harassed by his friends and made fun of for losing his virginity to a black woman, which apparently is embarrassing. I’ve been screamed at by a man in his car as I was returning from nightlife work at 2AM. He was so incensed by my presence that he was banging on the door of his car, face reddened, and screwed up like a Greek Tragedy Mask. My race destroyed my professional career in financial services. I and other black people were denied our preferred roles after our graduate scheme, being allocated in alignment with business need, while the white women were aligned with their interests - the kicker? The head of the team I wanted to join, wanted me in the team, but because of the way the company ran things he didn’t have the final say. But I get told that my feelings that I’ve experienced racism in this country is all in my head.
Ive attempted to pivot my career, with support of my husband. Growing up, my mother would lie to me about my acting skills, telling me I’m terrible and have no chance at it, after being denied that dream herself after having children. After being pushed out of my last job in finance and being told that because of my ADHD I should never hope to maintain a high paying corporate career, I decided to pursue part time training in acting. I landed an acting agent and a modelling agent within a year and half. But it’s competitive and I’m getting no traction. I’m competing with people who have proper drama school training in a very credentialist country. I can’t afford a masters. I had a part time freelance remote job and I’ve had my account deactivated with no warning, despite having excellent reviews. Hundreds of pounds worth of work that I earned had been withheld/ stolen from me. To top it all off, my modelling agency is looking like they’re going to drop me - not that I was booking much there anyway.
That was long. And there were so many more things I could have mentioned. And still, I am one of the lucky ones. I live in a peaceful country, with good sanitation and infrastructure. I’m not being trafficked. I have no physical disabilities. I have a roof over my head and eat well. I live better than the majority of the world… and what does that say about our planet?
TRAUMA DUMP OVER
These were some of the things I would have written in a suicide note. But I remembered what I’ve learned here, and it kept me strong.
And then comes to the last reason prison planet theory keeps me going: this community. The fact that there are a growing numbery of people who are awakening or at least curious about the esoteric factors holding humanity back, and driving suffering. Who recognise what this planet is, that there is room for beauty and joy in humanity, but that we have been waylaid and broken by external forces.
Even if we are wrong, and there are no archonic forces with their boots on our necks, there is still a community of people here who believes life and humanity could better under different circumstances. At least we are not alone.