u/Forsaken_Rhubarb

I’m a student in college. That’s one mistake. I’m going to college for Ceramics. That’s another mistake. I have been living off student loans for 2 years. I have a car but it needs fixed and gas costs $5 a gallon. The minimum pay in this state is $7.25. I have applied to jobs, only to be rejected or have no answers. I have 2 1/2 months to get a job if I really want one to have food and money to spend this upcoming year for college. My mom is paying my rent. I paid for summer classes which I needed a payment plan for. There was a $20 service fee and a $75 enrollment fee. The first payment was around $668. I don’t have money to buy an ESA and keep it fed this upcoming year. I had about $900 in my account left over. Now, since I paid everything, I have only $54 in my account. I can’t grab the $500 in my other account or else I’ll be charged. Plus, I was stripped of a scholarship I worked so hard to get throughout middle school and high school because my parents “make too much”. My stepdad is paying over 3k a month in his student loans which is a total of over 150k he still needs to pay. My mom makes less than my brother and he makes $28 an hour. I think she barely reaches $24 an hour. And the government gave my parents money to help pay for my little sister’s private school tuition. Pay for some of it. But, I lost my scholarship because they make too much. They aren’t paying for it. I am. I have no money. I can’t even get a good paying job. I can’t get a job. My parents don’t understand. I feel so hopeless. I only have money for one more therapy session. It’s hard to ask for help but I don’t know what to do. I’m so lost and feel hopeless. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I’m a student in college. That’s one mistake. I’m going to college for Ceramics. That’s another mistake. I have been living off student loans for 2 years. I have a car but it needs fixed and gas costs $5 a gallon. The minimum pay in this state is $7.25. I have applied to jobs, only to be rejected or have no answers. I have 2 1/2 months to get a job if I really want one to have food and money to spend this upcoming year for college. My mom is paying my rent. I paid for summer classes which I needed a payment plan for. There was a $20 service fee and a $75 enrollment fee. The first payment was around $668. I don’t have money to buy an ESA and keep it fed this upcoming year. I had about $900 in my account left over. Now, since I paid everything, I have only $54 in my account. I can’t grab the $500 in my other account or else I’ll be charged. Plus, I was stripped of a scholarship I worked so hard to get throughout middle school and high school because my parents “make too much”. My stepdad is paying over 3k a month in his student loans which is a total of over 150k he still needs to pay. My mom makes less than my brother and he makes $28 an hour. I think she barely reaches $24 an hour. And the government gave my parents money to help pay for my little sister’s private school tuition. Pay for some of it. But, I lost my scholarship because they make too much. They aren’t paying for it. I am. I have no money. I can’t even get a good paying job. I can’t get a job. My parents don’t understand. I feel so hopeless. I only have money for one more therapy session. It’s hard to ask for help but I don’t know what to do. I’m so lost and feel hopeless. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I have so many ideas. I’m a ceramics major but I want to draw and make drawings of sculptures but I can’t seem to find the way to start. I also don’t want to keep making drawings that “look” the same. It’s overwhelming me and whenever I get overwhelmed, I start to shut down and avoid. I don’t want to.

I don’t know what to do.