Aqua man friends first before dating?
I’m an Aries female and met an Aqua man at a party one month ago. We got along well, flirted a bit and he asked me for my number. Now texting wise it was a bit difficult on both our ends bc we have tight schedules. First we texted every other day a bit, but then we switched to phone calls.
We’ve had 2 short calls and then our last call was 8h long, which is a bit crazy. The talk was deeper than deep 😂 he opened up about his deepest fears, traumas, wounds, insecurities. He also said that it is insane for him to be able to open up so easily, that he’s never felt that with a person before,that the connection is insane, even mentioned that he thinks there’s some fate for us to have met.
Now to the weird part, towards the end he started talking about dating, that he dislikes the performative dating, women having expectations on dates, and said he prefers to build a friendship first. So I thought, alright, I’m friendzoned 😂 later he mentions something from his past and asks whether that would be a dealbreaker for me in a relationship. I jokingly said: „relationship? I thought you wanted us to be friends”. And he laughed and said „ah fuck now you caught me contradicting myself”.
Anyways, after the talk I thought maybe he’d need some time to process it all, bc tbh it was so deep that even I needed some time. But he messaged me the next day saying „I’m already excited for our next talk”.
So I guess my question is, what does this friends first mean for aquas?
Bc for me dating in general is building a foundation first before anything physical, so I think we’re on the same page, however I wouldn’t label it friendship- bc as soon as I’m friends with someone I completely shut off any romantic potential/ chemistry. I’m friends with my exes, ppl I’ve dated BECAUSE I’m not into them anymore, otherwise it would be too complicated. Also, I’m different with my friends and have different criteria, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life 24/7 with my friends.With friends, I naturally let certain things slide — they don’t necessarily need to share all my deeper values or long-term compatibility standards. But when I’m dating someone, I’m way more intentional and selective.
And honestly, the whole “friends first” dynamic can sometimes feel even more performative than dating, because it creates this weird limbo where both people are overthinking, questioning the other person’s intentions, or maybe not being fully honest about their feelings.