u/Forsaken_Pizza_Wheel

I don't intentionally speak of the future, it just comes when it is needed the most and then you see when it happens. Funny thing is I was guessing, but sometimes it's fun to be a seer, as sometimes people don't see it until it already happened and are like "wtf".

The Place Where Eyes Leer

I want you to start

This non-beating heart

Wake me up and out of this darkness

All I know is loneliness

I need to get out of here

The place where all eyes leer

It’s the emptiness inside you

That will devour you

So save yourself from your darkness

And your loneliness

You need to get out of here

The place where all eyes leer

Save me from myself because I know that I need help

I need some help

I didn’t meant to startle you

But my words are true

I need to get out of here

The place where all eyes leer

And creatures lurk in the darkness

What awesome darkness

To have such brilliant creatures to roam

And you just want to go home

You need to get out of here

The place where all eyes leer

Get me out of here

Get you out of here

It’s scarier than your worst nightmare

and they don’t care

We need to get out of here

The place where all eyes leer

The Unfair Fight

We wear our hearts on our sleeves

Just as everyone leaves

We are scared and think desperately

When it’s time, we barely breathe

Our lives don’t last very long

But we are very strong

This world is a strange place

And they don’t know my face

We are fighting the unfair fight

Being killed in broad daylight

We grow up and then we die

Because the world is a lie

We try harder than we should

But are hoping that we would

Live another day

But our lives are given away

We are fighting ourselves

Trying to free ourselves

From the darkness that surrounds us

But it always surrounds us

We can’t stop what we already started

In a war that was started

To kill us off

We won’t grow soft

We are fighting the unfair fight

Being killed in broad daylight

We grow up and then we die

Because the world is a lie

We try harder than we should

But are hoping that we would

Live another day

But our lives are given away

We live and we die

In a world that is a lie

Because we are fighting

We are fighting

A war against ourselves

But we don’t hate ourselves

This war is unfair

But we are taking more than our share

The Way I Act VS. the Way I Really Am

I act like I don’t care

But I really do care

I just don’t like showing it

I don’t like knowing it

I act like the world has ended

But it was as I pretended

I’m not dead, I haven’t left

But I wish that I left

When I can’t change a thing

I don’t do a thing

My heart rejects anything that can save me

Because nothing can save me

When I don’t want to be saved

I don’t want to be saved

From crybaby old me

What do the others see?

I act like I don’t care

But I really do care

I just don’t like showing it

I don’t like knowing it

I act like the world has ended

But it was as I pretended

I’m not dead, I haven’t left

But I wish that I left

Am I really thought to be smart?

Do they even know where to start?

To find that out

Does the world want me to shout?

Nobody really knows for sure

But I don’t need to care anymore

It’s not like I had someone who did

In a world where I always hid

I act like I don’t care

But I really do care

I just don’t like showing it

I don’t like knowing it

I act like the world has ended

But it was as I pretended

I’m not dead, I haven’t left

But I wish that I left

Go back to the past, don’t come to the future

I know that I hate the future

So just give up on a former half-human like me

And try to breathe

It’s not what you think at all

I’m not the type to feel something so small

My existence is more of a mistake than I thought it was

But I never said anything to anyone because

I act like I don’t care

But I really do care

I just don’t like showing it

I don’t like knowing it

I act like the world has ended

But it was as I pretended

I’m not dead, I haven’t left

But I wish that I left

So, I was going through my things and I found some very odd things... Here's a list of these things:

•A pocket knife (that I don't remember buying)

•Underwear that isn't mine

•A bag of shirts with brand logos that I can't read

•A strip of paper that says "You suck diamonds from rings on Tuesdays"

•Multiple notebooks that are slightly curved, but still usable

•Necklaces and Scarves (that I can't wear because of PTSD)

•So many bags that I lost count after 20

•DND dies that I never used

•A Cricut machine and many things for it that are practically unused

•Two other diecuter machines that are very used

•A pie chart of all the people I forgot about by how much they meant to me

•A concerning amount of keychains all of them clipped onto a belt

•A sewing machine partially hidden

•Too many rubber stamps

•Small objects that may or may not be collectables or figurines

•Lots of Crystals in the smallest of tins

•Way too much jewelry for one person to have

•A painting of my weaknesses

•Enough clothes that could be worn 1 outfit a day for the next 3 months without wearing the same thing twice. (If you don't add underwear or shoes into the account)

•Many stuffed animals

•A modest amount of books that I may or may not have read

•The color green

•Fabrics galore

•Papers, way too many papers for paper crafting

•Magazines that I haven't read

•A lot of binders for writing, but barely any of my actual writing is in there

•Drawing utensils

•Stuff I shouldn't talk about

•A large binder of custody orders from years ago

•A lot of stuff for my daughter

•An empty mini fridge that isn't turned on

•A TV

•My body

•Gaming consoles and games

•My laptop that hates me sometimes

•My twin sized bed

•Too many large pieces of Furniture that I can barely get around

•Stuff for my Etsy store

•Concern for my wellbeing

•My rug that I vacuum once in a blue moon

•Two digital art pieces my brother made

•Chaos, who was hiding under my bed for a month even when I told them not to stay there... I also promptly kicked them out

•A whiteboard that I forgot to erase years ago that says "Believe in yourself"

•Barely touched beauty supplies

•An inspirational board that says "Be $trange in the hard times and sweet in the good times. Humor is good for our souls."

•A drinky drink that drinks

I woke up this morning to see that there were multiple giant eyes looking at the star of Sirius, which is never usually a good thing. The bigger issue is that that was where the planet of Septamunt is, where the Shard Alice calls Morning Dew lives. I sighed and got out of bed, trying to make sense of it. My wife, Audrey was still quietly sleeping in our bed. I figured that maybe it might be time to go down to my workshop.

I was lucky that my older brother Marvin and most of my older children work in the company my parents passed down, as it made things easier for me to work in my workshop inventing for longer hours. I could live in that workshop of mine if I really wanted to, but my family and friends always seemed to enjoy my presence more when I was out of it. Another problem atm is that with my current wife Audrey, I keep seeming to have Quadruplets. 3 sets of them. And of course, I let Audrey name them, so we have 12 Earth Month kids. Why Audrey knows about Earth is beyond me, but now the problem with this is that Audrey was just diagnosed with the same thing that killed my other wives before her. The same thing that Alice's Mom died of, what Alice's stepmoms died of, and Alice's past few husbands died of. The three pregnancy rule was a weird rule to stay in effect, but it only affected Mortals who loved Immortals, regardless of what sex either was assigned at birth as long as they weren't the same sex. Marvin, my older brother, didn't seem to have any issues as his wife, Softia, was also Immortal, but Marvin was never supposed to be immortal in the first place.

Alice currently has a wife instead, but I don't trust her. Something about her, even her name, Aisha, is off-putting and I can't seem to trust her for a second. Not that it has anything to do with me, but as Alice's best friend, I had every reason to worry about her.

Enough with my rambling, I better talk more about the giant eyes in the sky. I quickly went down to my workshop and instead of building something new, I used my telepathic microphone and reader to ask the giant eyes what they wanted with Septamunt.

"We are the watchers. We have come to find the one known as the Dark One to ask if our presence could be hidden again." The giant eyes turned to look at me. I sighed, this is going to be a bit exhausting, it seems.

"You want to go over to the planet known as Playcard, with the three stars. You're currently looking in the wrong solar system, that's the solar system that houses the Shard made of Liquid, not the Shard with the shadow powers." I pointed over to the solar system where Playcard was, which was on the far opposite corner to the solar system that houses Septamunt.

"Thank you for your cooperation, small Immortal. We will give you a ranking on the star charts." The giant eyes nodded at me and started moving over to the place where they would get help.

"Thank you as well. I do my best to serve my customers the best I can. Have a nice Solar." I knew this was going to happen. The star charts are only used by larger Immortals, but I don't think I realized that when I first started it 14,000 years ago. I guess I assumed that smaller creatures would use it, but then again, the smaller creatures tend to use the space ports and the space gliders more than I originally thought.

"Have a nice Solar." The eyes gave the usual ending greetings and I turned off my telepathic microphone and reader.

1. With every strong power, there must be an equal cost.

2. With every cost, the Shard is affected in a certain way.

3. With every Shard, there is a different part of their relationship with others that is affected due to the power and/or the cost.

4. Powers do not equal all powerful, just as being a Shard does not equal being the exact carbon copy of the original.

5. A Shard doesn't need to use their power to be powerful.

6. Each Shard has their own power and cost based on the power.

7. No Shard is affected the same way.

8. No Shard is a carbon copy of another.

9. Each Shard has their own place in the 13 Shards.

10. While most Shards present female, there are few that do not.

11. Sexuality is not a shared trait either, and attraction is not an all or nothing, shades of gray can be reached.

12. The codenames and/or nicknames typically do not have any relation to the names they were raised as.

13. Immortality was never a given, long lives do not constitute being Immortal. Semi-immortal is the only way that we can describe them.

14. The names they were given as a child will always be the same first name, but the last name will always be different. They will rarely be called this in adulthood, but when they are called by that name again, it signals death is arriving.

15. The 13th Shard is rarely mentioned mostly due to being human, they are typically known for their extremely long reincarnation loop where only the last reincarnation is born assigned female, is the only one who can house the rest of the Shards, and lives longer than the rest of their former reincarnations.

16. The costs of power always is something that seems irrelevant, but is more effective in the long run.

17. There are sometimes Shards who have committed sins unknowingly against their planet's gods, these Shards will be punished in ways that sometimes reflect on their power and cost.

18. Death is not something a Shard can cheat, but gives its calling card in unexpected ways.

19. Until the 13th Shard has access to all the memory data banks of the other 12 Shards, Earth is to remain untouched and unknowing of the Shards.

20. Questioning the relevance of the Shards is both rude and irresponsible. We do not laugh in the face of Gods, so why would we laugh in the face of the Shards? (This one is more of a joke aimed at whoever reads this. The good ones will understand.)

As the title suggests, I am uncertain as to where I fit in this place's operations. I am always confused as my default and deeply concerned as to where to place myself in the operations. Because of the length of Time I have spent in this loop of uncertainty, I am quick to misunderstand and try my best to learn, but in some cases, it is impossible. 16 years is a long time, but I now seem to have misunderstood my post here.

Slipping through the cracks is a strange way to tell someone that you woke up in a reality where you never existed, but it feels so right. My story is forgotten. My life is hidden. My everything is terrible. The person who ruined me didn't see a second of jail Time because he had ties to the police. I hate this rambling, but I had a point somewhere.

So I have two very strange ideas that are the exact inverse of the other.

1. An inherited memory passed from Mother to Daughter only when the Daughter has her own Daughter. Not a single memory in the line was passed to a Son.

2. A female vampire was born long before humans, she lived for an extremely long time, and slowly saw humanity form, watching longingly as they slowly became more and more like her.

So, it started in the past. My child was about 18 months in the dream, she's now 12. We (my Dad, Mom, and me, as I was a teen parent) picked her up from her other parent and took her to some kind of festival, where we were trying to have a good time, but my ex's Dad, brother, and uncle were staring us down the entire time. My ex for some reason joined us in the car to go back home? Then we dropped my daughter and her other parent off.

Then, the second layer happened and I woke up in a church and was like 6 years old or something... Where everyone was just trying to find a seat and there were no signs of any pastor or priest or anyone from the actual church, just people sitting down in the pews. Nothing really happened.

Then, the third layer happened and I woke up in some kind of pre-K set up as a 4 year old. Everyone was the same age as my dream age, so no adults at all. I had to squat for some reason and a girl was watching me and shouting "she's pooping" loudly, only for me to realize that I was pooping and had no pants or underwear on. The other kids didn't seem to care.

Then I woke up for real... And had to go to the bathroom. What does this even mean?

Dark pieces in a time of darkness. The feelings that crept in, silently ruining every part of my life. The words that saved me. The words that destroyed me. The words that tried to help, but failed.

Stuck in a Fever Dream

Born a saint

But became a sinner

I tried my best

But I was no winner

Not a King or Queen

Not even in the running

I tried to get to the top

But failure kept on coming

---

 

Can't count how many times

I've lived or died

Stuck in a fever dream

Where I'm just trying to survive

The years come and go

I have no way of knowing

If I'm in the past or the future

The complexity is growing

 

---

What year is it again?

Can't get this sinking feeling out of my head

The water's clear

But how many more days till I must start again?

You know she's from

A very far off place

Do you think it's true

That she's from outer space?

---

 

Can't count how many times

I've lived or died

Stuck in a fever dream

Where I'm just trying to survive

The years come and go

I have no way of knowing

If I'm in the past or the future

The complexity is growing

---

 

She said there's more of us

Way too many to fix this

Is it really your business?

I was hoping for one last kiss

But he ruined my life instead

Can't count how many times

People ran over me

With their selfishness and their lies

---

 

Can't count how many times

I've lived or died

Stuck in a fever dream

Where I'm just trying to survive

The years come and go

I have no way of knowing

If I'm in the past or the future

The complexity is growing

--

 

I don't know how old I'll get to be in this life

But being in between has been alright

Middle class with a complex brain

My imagination is always in flight

Causing the catastrophe that is my life

My soul and all its pieces are with me

Along with some other weirdos I met along the way

I finally feel free to be me

I tripped and fell off the side of the caravan... Onto Jupiter.

THE EIGHTEEN YEARS THAT FELL OUT OF MY POCKET

You told me that you'd love me forever

You told me that you'd never leave ever

I remember the taste of your lips

The way that you kissed

I remember the feel of your hands

Those nights that we talked and all our plans

The way you smiled back at me

If only I could see

When I woke up, you were gone, gone, gone

Our love was so long, long, long

It was like it was a one-night stand

That lasted much longer than planned

You were gone, gone, gone

Our love was so long, long, long

Eighteen years don't just disappear like that

I can't accept that fact

Waking up in my bedroom at my parents' house

Breathing deeply yet softly, as quiet as a mouse

Sixteen again without a single clue

It was like I never met you

Like everything that I remember didn't actually happen

And worried that it never did

How could this happen to me?

What didn't I see?

When I woke up, you were gone, gone, gone

Our love was so long, long, long

It was like it was a one-night stand

That lasted much longer than planned

You were gone, gone, gone

Our love was so long, long, long

Eighteen years don't just disappear like that

I can't accept that fact

I looked everywhere for you

But I couldn't find you

It was like you never existed

Like our life together never existed

I couldn't take it any longer

It was always you that I longed for

So, what do I do now that I'm left in the dust?

Should I leave as well and let my body crust?

When I woke up, you were gone, gone, gone

Our love was so long, long, long

It was like it was a one-night stand

That lasted much longer than planned

You were gone, gone, gone

Our love was so long, long, long

Eighteen years don't just disappear like that

I can't accept that fact

I ended up the way I would

Knowing that I never could

Live in a world without you

In a world filled with doubt

They pointed their fingers and spouted out lies

I hurt so bad, but no one heard my cries

SHE WASN’T REAL

The words that came out of your mouth that dreadful day

Was that really what you wanted to say?

That I wasn’t real at all

Making me feel so small

The truth hurts when the lies are sweet like candy

You would always reprimand me

About things far out of my control

Did you not see that it took its toll?

“She’s not real

She doesn’t feel

Her emotions are all faked”

My heart continues to break

These things you spout

Makes me want to shout

“God please save my worthless self

I want to be somebody else”

I wish my life was just a sham

The truth is that I don’t feel human

Like my own body is foreign

And everything in my life is ruined

But isn’t this what I asked for?

Even though everything seems like a chore?

You scream my name

Why am I this way?

“She’s not real

She doesn’t feel

Her emotions are all faked”

My heart continues to break

These things you spout

Makes me want to shout

“God please save my worthless self

I want to be somebody else”

I run from the past like I ran from death

I never even wanted my health

You spout lies like honey drops

But I know the cost

You never saw the truth

You never cared for me in my youth

You never saw the snarls and sobs

The truth about me and corn cobs

You played yourself as the comedic relief

Instead of the great hero who does the greatest deed

“She’s not real

She doesn’t feel

Her emotions are all faked”

My heart continues to break

These things you spout

Makes me want to shout

“God please save my worthless self

I want to be somebody else”

The words that came out of your mouth that dreadful day

Was that really what you wanted to say?

That I wasn’t real at all

Making me feel so small

The truth hurts when the lies are sweet like candy

You would always reprimand me

About things far out of my control

Did you not see that it took its toll?

REALIZATIONS FAR TOO LATE

I should've realized it sooner

I guess I've always been a disappointment

To you and everybody else

But my life was full of excitement

Running wild with my imagination

Always feeling different

Wishing that I could be the same

But never thinking it was relevant

You should've realized it sooner

I guess it never made any sense before

But you've shown interest now

And now you're wanting to know more

You lead me out of the darkness

Tell me you should've known

But don't say anything else

As you take me home