Hi. Burner account because I’ve never used Reddit before and I probably (Hopefully) never will again.
I, 23F, work in a safeguarding role in an education setting. I‘m part of the pastoral team working with children of all ages. In my free time, I audition for and perform in amateur theatre productions. My local community group has just held auditions for Next to Normal and I have been offered the role of Natalie, which I accepted because I worked really hard on my audition and would love the opportunity to perform as Natalie. For those that aren’t familiar, Natalie is the 16 year old daughter in the show. Other roles were offered and accepted privately and so I accepted my role before the final cast list was shared with the 6 principles.
We have just had a brief introductory rehearsal tonight, gotten to know each other and had a workshop for one of the songs to get us started.
My worry? The person playing Henry is 17. He turns 18 about halfway through the rehearsal process and will be 18 by the time the show is performed in August.
A few things worth noting.
- The characters are in a romantic relationship and are scripted to kiss a few times in the show
- The director and casting panel had access to everyone’s ages as it was on our application forms - whether they took age into consideration I don’t know
- The community group is out of my working area so I have not and will not come across the actor playing Henry in a professional context. I had never met him until auditions last weekend.
- I look quite young for my age and often get mistaken for being 15-18 years old both when I‘m performing and professionally (I usually end up playing the kid roles so think Dodger in Oliver or Olive in Spelling Bee, and equally get questioned as to why I have a staff badge in a high school)
- Henry’s actor looks quite old for his age. The director may have known his age, but I disn’t during auditions. I maybe would’ve guessed he was about 20-24. He has facial hair and quite a deep speaking voice
- I AM 23. HE IS ONLY ALMOST 18.
I don’t know how to feel or what to think. I am not uncomfortable acting opposite a 17/18 year old, I can and frequently do separate acting roles from personal life and I would feel comfortable acting as this is what I signed up for. However I am uncomfortable kissing a 17/18 year old, even pretending.
Of course, I know myself and would know that it’s acting, as would he. He seems quite cool about it and keen to play the part he’s been offered too, and we had a laugh together during the workshop.
However. I work in a school. And I work with people his age. I never ever want to risk my career or reputation for a show with a lifespan of 3 months of rehearsals and 2 weeks of shows, but I’ll admit I’m quite frustrated at the director for putting me in this position when she knew everyone‘s ages and must’ve thought this would be okay. I would also dread to put him in the position I’m in and debating what to do because the stage kisses might make him uncomfortable. I’m the adult in the situation and should handle it appropriately
I just simply don’t know what to do. The director must’ve thought this was okay, and maybe she has something in mind so that the kisses are just blocked completely differently and only look like kisses to an audience? I don’t know what the plan is around blocking. But kissing a barely 18 year old is a hard no on my part.
Do I drop out? Do I have a conversation with the director? Do I need to make it clear I don’t feel comfortable kissing someone who is 5 years younger than me?
I love this part and would absolutely hate to have to quit, especially as I’ve accepted the part and rehearsals have begun. The cast list was shared on the groups website too, so I’m not able to drop out subtly without making a scene. I’d be gutted not to do the show. But I know safeguarding always comes first and I never want the actor for Henry to feel uncomfortable or unable to say anything. Any advice?