u/Former_Cartoonist142

being a financially struggling single mom really changes the way you look at life. survival mode pushes you to think outside the box and consider paths you probably never would’ve looked at before.

lately I’ve been learning about different online spaces, dynamics, and communities out of pure curiosity more than anything. definitely realizing very quickly how many scammers and fake people are out there though.

curious…have any of you ever accidentally discovered a side of yourself you didn’t expect during a hard point in your life?

hi mommy vent 😭

my first single mother’s day is coming up and honestly i think i’ve just been holding a lot in.

i’m exhausted. mentally more than anything. it’s hard feeling like you carry the invisible parts of parenting that nobody really notices because they’re not flashy.

i’m the one making sure my son has breakfast before school, packing lunches, making dinner, buying groceries, buying his shampoo/conditioner/toothpaste/mouthwash, washing his clothes, handling school stuff, yearbooks, field trip money, after school pickup, bedtime routines…all of it.

and what really hurt was calculating the expenses from the income & expense declaration for child support court next week and seeing almost $1500 spent on trading cards in just a few months while i’m stressing over groceries and daily things our son actually needs.

then seeing claims of almost $1000 being paid for an after school program that is literally free 😭 i’m the one who enrolled our son, does pickup/dropoff, and handles the school communication so reading that honestly made me laugh out of disbelief.

we still currently live together until our lease ends in july, which has honestly been emotionally exhausting. because of his work schedule he mostly comes home at night and leaves again early in the morning for work, so a lot of the day-to-day parenting responsibilities fall on me.

he makes around 4x more than i do while i’m part time trying to find full time work and i’ve been drowning in debt and loans just trying to stay afloat.

i’ve been trying to get child support established since december and it feels like constant delays and continuances. i’m honestly just tired and hoping next week finally gives me some answers.

anyways lol me and my son are probably just gonna stay in and play minecraft together for mother’s day weekend 🖤

what are you other single moms doing for mother’s day this year?

I genuinely just need to vent because I feel angry, exhausted, humiliated, and completely alone.

I’m a single mom coming out of an 11 year toxic relationship with my kid’s dad. Our son is 10, about to be 11, and I honestly hate the person this relationship turned me into. I spent YEARS losing myself trying to keep peace with someone who was financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive.

I was a stay-at-home mom until our son was around 6 years old because that’s what worked for our family and honestly what he preferred too. Then when I finally started working part time, I still structured my entire life around school pickups, drop offs, appointments, and parenting because HE wanted me available for our son. He used to tell me he didn’t even want me working.

So I sacrificed my independence, career growth, savings, and future stability for our family while he worked long hours.

Now suddenly I’m being treated like I contributed nothing.

And honestly? I took over most of the parenting because I loved my son and wanted his dad to be able to work and provide. I didn’t mind being the default parent. But anytime he got overwhelmed or angry, suddenly I was “not helping financially enough.”

Meanwhile I WAS giving him money.

Last year alone I gave him around $600 a month with the little I had while also buying groceries, household items, things for our son, and helping however I could. Half the time I didn’t even know where my money was actually going. If I asked what bill my money paid toward, somehow HE became the victim and turned it into “you don’t trust me with money.”

Everything always got flipped back onto me. Every single time.

And looking back now, I realize he controlled money in ways I didn’t fully understand at the time. Even when I had my own money, I felt like I needed approval for everything. He controlled how money got spent, what was “worth it,” what wasn’t necessary, and somehow his wants always mattered more.

The thing that hurts now is I OFFERED multiple times to help replace things in the apartment. I offered to help buy a new couch. I offered to help buy a safer table because ours was literally broken and dangerous. I offered to help get our son a new mattress because he was still sleeping on the same twin mattress we bought him when he was 2 years old.

And every single time I got told “no.”

So we lived with broken furniture, uncomfortable conditions, and the bare minimum for YEARS because he was unbelievably stingy when it came to our home life, me, or our son.

Meanwhile he had no problem spending hundreds on trading cards and hobbies. Easily $300+ at a time.

Even his own mom would have to beg him to turn on the A/C when she came to visit for a week sometimes. She’d literally offer to pay that month’s electric bill just so he would stop complaining about using it.

And the thing is… I treated his family like they were MY family. His mom used to brag about how good I was to him and our son. She literally used to say “the only thing she doesn’t do is wipe my son’s ass.”

And honestly? She wasn’t wrong.

I cooked. Cleaned. Did laundry. Took care of our son. Managed the house. Sacrificed my independence. Supported him emotionally for years while constantly getting blamed, criticized, controlled, and emotionally drained in return.

Now suddenly after leaving me, he’s telling our son he’s looking for a TWO bedroom by himself for up to $3,000 a month.

Meanwhile I’m over here with horrible credit, drowning in debt, no family willing to co-sign for me, and realistically I’ll probably have to rent a room if I’m lucky.

The saddest part is he barely even buys things for our son. But I got so conditioned to handling everything myself that I stopped even asking. Anytime I needed help, I felt like I had to beg, explain myself, justify why something was needed, and then wait for him to “approve” or “deny” it like he had authority over everything.

Then he told child support we BOTH financially support our son equally so I deserve nothing.

Meanwhile I’m the one who structured my entire life around parenting while he worked from like 5:30am to 7:30pm most days.

Over the years I lost friendships, connections with family, and honestly parts of myself too. I became isolated without realizing how bad it got.

And what makes me even angrier is how everyone thinks he’s SUCH a great guy. He works as an elementary school custodian and wears this calm nice-guy mask around everyone. Nobody sees the manipulation, the control, the accusations, the emotional abuse, or how cold he is behind closed doors. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I lived with two completely different people.

I genuinely believe he’s a narcissist. Everything revolved around his feelings, his image, his comfort, and somehow every issue became my fault.

The family dynamic made everything worse too. Him and his sister stopped talking for a while over unrelated issues, but the SECOND we broke up she suddenly came back into his life and has been heavily involved in everything since. Helping him with court stuff, supporting him emotionally, acting like I’m the villain after spending 11 years building a life with him.

Mind you she lives FOUR hours away and used to complain we never visited enough, but suddenly every court date she magically had time to come down for him.

Sometimes I joke he’s Jaime Lannister because their loyalty and dynamic feels so intense and unhealthy to me.

Their dad was abusive too, and even his own mom once told me he acts like his father when she heard how he treated me. When I brought it up before we broke up, he confronted her and then told me she “denied” saying it.

And now suddenly he’s the BEST MAN at his cousin’s wedding which honestly feels so fake to me because for YEARS he talked badly about his cousin’s fiancée behind her back, called her and her friends terrible names, and repeatedly tried convincing his cousin to break up with her. But now suddenly he’s standing beside them smiling and acting supportive like he’s this amazing loyal family guy. That’s exactly who he is though completely different behind closed doors versus the image he shows everybody else.

And another thing that still makes me furious: after one of our fights AFTER we had supposedly “made up” he took back my $8,000 engagement ring and told me I had to “earn it back.”

Now that we’re separated, my original plan was honestly to sell the ring so I could use the money to restart my life and secure housing for me and my son.

But he refused to give it back.

So even THAT got taken from me too.

I tried standing up for myself and filed for a DVRO, but the process completely destroyed my mental health. Court was exhausting. His lawyer twisted everything and made me feel crazy. The dates kept getting pushed because I accidentally submitted things incorrectly or didn’t properly serve evidence, and then I found out I’d have to testify, question him directly, question witnesses, and relive everything publicly.

I spent MONTHS searching for free legal aid because I couldn’t afford a lawyer. Most places only offered 30 minute phone calls. Nobody could actually represent me in court while he had a lawyer handling everything for him.

At one point I was barely functioning physically or mentally from stress.

My emergency DVRO got denied because I “needed more evidence.” I didn’t have the police report at the exact time I filed. I went back about an hour later with the actual report, but they told me it was too late because the request had already been submitted as-is.

Then I overheard his lawyer telling him he was shocked it got denied because most emergency DVROs usually get approved.

That honestly broke me.

So yes, I dropped the case. Not because nothing happened. Not because I was lying. I dropped it because I mentally could not survive the process alone anymore.

And the craziest part?

Despite EVERYTHING… I actually love being free and single now. I finally feel like I can breathe without constantly worrying about someone controlling my emotions, finances, or life.

But financially I’m drowning so badly that I’ve even started considering sex work just to survive and keep a roof over me and my son’s head, and that realization honestly breaks my heart because this is never where I imagined my life would end up after giving 11 years to someone.

How did other single moms survive this stage? Because mentally I feel stronger away from him… but financially I feel like I’m barely surviving.

Hi everyone,

I’m a single mom in Orange County currently working part-time so I can stay present for my son, but I’m really needing to find a legit hybrid or remote position as soon as possible.

I have experience in clerical/admin work (data entry, customer service, office support, etc.) and I’m reliable and quick to learn.

I’m in a tough spot financially right now and trying to get stable over the next few months paying down debt, rebuilding, and making sure I can secure housing.

If anyone knows of real job leads, companies hiring, or referrals, I would truly appreciate it.

Thank you for reading 🙏

hi 💖

single mom here struggling a bit right now, low income, no child support, and trying to keep up with rent, bills, and basic needs 🥺

I’m also trying to get out of an unsafe situation, so things have been overwhelming lately.

I made a small wishlist for essentials. anything helps, no pressure at all 💕

🔗 https://throne.com/labri09

Single mom here, about 5 months into doing everything on my own.

I currently work part-time but I’m working toward either a full-time role or adding another part-time job that I can do from home. I need something flexible so I can maintain a work-life balance and be there for my son (school pickup, etc.).

I have my A.S. and B.S. in Business Administration, experience in office support/administrative work, and I’m conversational in Spanish.

Does anyone know of any legit work-from-home jobs (admin, customer service, office support, etc.) that are actually hiring and flexible?

I’m open to part-time or full-time, I am just looking for something stable and real.

No MLMs or scams please.