Second MACI Procedure coming up and struggling a lot mentally. Looking for advice on how to cope
I (F, 32) had MACI on my right knee in 11/24. Rehab was going slow but i had kept persistent and finally I felt like I was getting places and putting some muscle back on. My Physiotherapist was even being hopeful that i might be able to get back into running short distances this summer. However I had an acute cartilage damage this april on the other knee. I got up from sitting on a chair heard a cracking noise and then had an effusion, pain and crepitation every time I bend my knee. I was able to get an MRI quite quickly and it showed that I had a 1,5x1,5cm Cartilage damage IV° and the broken off cartilage was floating around my joint. The left knee had never given me a single problem so I do not understand what happend exactly. I had a arthroscopy to take out the floater and gain some cells in April and will be getting the MACI procedure this friday.
Mentally however I am struggling even more than I did the first time around. My life has revolved heavily around sports (outdoors mostly in the mountains) for the last 12 years and its always been an important factor for my mental wellbeing as well. Not being able to do any sports (since the MACI on my right leg Ive been able to roadbike and swim at least) breaks my heart and mind. I feel like I am unable to get myself to do anything useful and I've been spending too much time on social media(finally deleted my instagram a week ago) and binge watching TV but I feel like this is just making me more depressed. I have tried reading and crafting more but its just not working the same for me as moving does. I get random meltdowns, sometimes even in public and pretty much out of the blue. It's been 4 weeeks since my left leg got injured and I have allowed myself to grief however I feel like i need to pick myself up now but am really struggling. My partner is really supportive and sweet and my friends are also very caring. I also thought I could use this unexpected time off to learn sth new or write more but actually I have been mostly bed rotting with my cats. I also thought about finding a therapist but I also feel like what could they possibly say to make me feel better.
Did anyone experience something similar and has advice how to get out of this?