Addiction to Femdom. Experiences? Insights?
So it seems to be a common theme, people with a traumatic kind of upbringing fall into the Femdom stuff a lot more than others.
Had a rough upbringing (not crying about it) it is what it is. I was always really attracted to the meaner girls, bitchy, bullies etc. My first serious relationship as an older teen into my twenties was with a woman who was very mean spirited, she bullied others, gossiped etc, she was quite caring and loving towards me but very controlling. I found her toxic ways towards other people to majorly turn me on even though I knew it was wrong. Eventually her toxicity started to be directed at me, we were engaged and I broke it off after months of chickening out.
Although completely different people, my next three relationships were a lot the same, visually attractive women with a dark side. The last one cheated on me which completely broke my heart.
I decided to give myself a break from relationships as I'd been through a lot like a 12 year stretch of serial monogamy. This is where I found Femdom porn, I really liked it. Although I seem to enjoy it in a different way than most people. I've found most guys want to be dominated by a mistress.. I never ever felt the need for this or even rough sex. I just really like seeing an attractive female make a man suffer for her own amusement. Not only the visual aspect but the psychological aspect.
Other than this I'm a pretty normal guy, a little introverted at times, but in general people like me, I enjoy making people laugh, I'm an animal lover and am really down to earth and charitable. It's a little confusing because I usually stick up for people being bullied... Unless of course the bully is an attractive female I suddenly become turned on by it.
I still find women in general attractive but I lose interest pretty quickly unless they have that cruel dark side. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do. It feels like I have two options, 1 be bored with company or 2 lonely but satisfied by femdom.