Toxic blow up with boss in front of outside counsel
I’m in house in an overworked, legal department drowning in tasks with zero support, despite repeated requests for more staffing.
I’ve been there for nearly six years. In that time, I’ve made huge improvements in this organization’s legal processes, mainly because I am a leader with who can execute autonomously with little management.
The pay is decent, benefits are excellent, and it’s fully remote, giving me flexibility in my working life. Those are the things I hold onto when I’m feeling stuck in this position.
Recently, in a conference call with outside counsel, I experienced, for the second time, a demeaning, and angry, call out from my boss in response to my asking our counsel a completely reasonable question. His reason for the behavior seems to be a mix of ego and immaturity. What results is a deeply embarrassing experience for me in front of people who I consider my professional peers.
Both times, it’s ended awkwardly for everyone involved, except for my boss, who seems oblivious. This time however, I lost my temper and volleyed an angry response back at him. Essentially telling him that he was fundamentally incorrect about his assertion and why. I think it’s important to note that I am the only woman in a room full of men when this happens.
I feel like I may have crossed a point of no return. I feel humiliated because my peers have seen me treated this way, I feel angry that I subject myself to this kind of treatment, and embarrassed by my own failure to keep my emotions in check in a professional setting.
I would be grateful if anyone has similar stories to share, and if you were able to deal with it, how? How did you navigate this kind of minefield? I’m working on my resume now, btw. But I also fear loosing the flexibility the job allows. Thanks in advance.