u/ForTheKing777

It's been there for a while.

I moved in 2019.

I started suffering from first mild depression. 2020 I developed schizophrenia. Then followed a handful of mental illnesses, where I even wondered how come the entire spectrum of mental illnesses suddenly happens to reach me? It would be depression one day, I had panic attacks for a while, they disappeared eventually. I would grow constantly sad, cry nonstop. Intrusive thoughts, OCD, hallucinations. Not able to manage my time, feeling like I cannot focus on anything. If I had to do more than one thing in one day, I'd start crying and feel overwhelmed - when back in my school days I used to do 5+ tasks a day?

I felt like I could never leave the house and my house started looking like the house of a hoarder. I felt restless, I told myself I need to clean up my place before I leave, so I never left the house (except for groceries) because I couldn't make myself clean it up.

However, when after hours of crying and not wanting to be alive, I forced myself to go outside even a small ray of sunshine would cheer me up and I was happy and hopeful and loved being alive again.

I remember having days where I thought I was going crazy. I mean, insane. The kind of insane that you see in movies, restless, screaming, crying and not knowing what's wrong.

I thought this is just mental illness.

I started having single events where I felt like my brain wasn't receiving oxygen, and I panicked. When I went to the hospital they blamed it on schizophrenia and their tests showed everything was fine. But I never had physical illnesses.

My vision gets blurry, I thought it's because my eyes are dry.

Now after 7 years of seeing the mold grow, something clicked in me that this might be severe and that perhaps this depression keeping me stuck in this apartment might actually be more damaging physically?

I am broke, I don't have money. I lost my job, in fact I lost jobs multiple times or couldn't keep up with them mentally.

Is this really all due to mold?

Does anyone have experiences with how mold affects the personality?

It's been there for a while.

I moved in 2019.

I started suffering from first mild depression. 2020 I developed schizophrenia. Then followed a handful of mental illnesses, where I even wondered how come the entire spectrum of mental illnesses suddenly happens to reach me? It would be depression one day, I had panic attacks for a while, they disappeared eventually. I would grow constantly sad, cry nonstop. Intrusive thoughts, OCD, hallucinations. Not able to manage my time, feeling like I cannot focus on anything. If I had to do more than one thing in one day, I'd start crying and feel overwhelmed - when back in my school days I used to do 5+ tasks a day?

I felt like I could never leave the house and my house started looking like the house of a hoarder. I felt restless, I told myself I need to clean up my place before I leave, so I never left the house (except for groceries) because I couldn't make myself clean it up.

However, when after hours of crying and not wanting to be alive, I forced myself to go outside even a small ray of sunshine would cheer me up and I was happy and hopeful and loved being alive again.

I remember having days where I thought I was going crazy. I mean, insane. The kind of insane that you see in movies, restless, screaming, crying and not knowing what's wrong.

I thought this is just mental illness.

I started having single events where I felt like my brain wasn't receiving oxygen, and I panicked. When I went to the hospital they blamed it on schizophrenia and their tests showed everything was fine. But I never had physical illnesses.

My vision gets blurry, I thought it's because my eyes are dry.

Now after 7 years of seeing the mold grow, something clicked in me that this might be severe and that perhaps this depression keeping me stuck in this apartment might actually be more damaging physically?

I am broke, I don't have money. I lost my job, in fact I lost jobs multiple times or couldn't keep up with them mentally.

Is this really all due to mold?

Does anyone have experiences with how mold affects the personality?