For context, I am a current freshman at a T5 college in the US and I am on my third quarter studying mathematics. I am currently attending this university with a full ride through Questbridge as a first-gen, low-income student. As much as I love attending this school and the rigor that it provides, the community here is super elitism and it is so extremely hard to find any friends who are genuine and doesn't see you as a mere "connection" for a referral.
I have often been feeling homesick throughout these last 3 quarters with specific periods where I would completely break down and not wanting to do any work. My grades tanked, my test scores aren't doing good, and I never have the motivation to do anything. I tried applying to different clubs, with all but one club rejecting me (the one club I attended didn't feel like the right fit for me, so I left the club). I tried making friends and forcing myself to talk to others, but everyone I meet seems to either don't want to be friends with me or they think I'm too "dumb" for them. It feels as if I haven't found any "genuine" people here so far. I don't know if this is a California-only experience or if it's a universal T5 college experience, but it sucks.
Everyone says that college homesickness will eventually go away, but it still haven't gone away even after 8 months. Is that normal?? My school is literally the farthest it can be from my family, so there's basically no way of seeing them except during breaks (and even then, I have an summer internship that I can't deny, so I can't even go back for the summer). And the quarter system makes it so hard to meet my friends, as by the time I finish my internship, my friends have already left for school...
This school is also huge on AI and startups, which is the complete opposite of what I want to do. It feels like attending this school have changed my trajectory of what I want to do in life, as I basically have to feed into this AI culture if I want to survive in this school (and the surrounding environment). I hate AI with its evil usage by large corporations, so I stay as far away from AI as I can.
I am considering transferring to a school that is T20 that is closer to my family that have multiple high-school friends attending there. The only drawback is that it's not as good as my current college, and I would have to pay $35,000 to attend a "worse" college. As much as I am grateful for given this opportunity to attend this school, it just doesn't feel right.
I hate being in this situation and I've been putting up with my feeling for the past few months, but it haven't gotten any better, so I now want to get it off my chest and let it all out. Anyone went through this experience before? If so, what did you do?