What do I do with my son??
My son is 20 years old and my youngest of two. We’ve always had a great relationship with him, over the years, actually expressing great frustration with his father (my husband). I’ve always been there to support him through sports, education, health issues and hospital stays, etc.
Over the last few years he’s shifted me into a position when I come after everyone else, an afterthought if you will. Examples:
Invites the family to do things but only things that I can’t participate in … either bc I’m terrified of heights, or it’s in the sun ALL day, etc.
He didn’t call me for Mother’s Day last year bc he was too tired after playing in the sun at a water park all day.
He wouldn’t take my call on his birthday bc he had plans with other ppl (though not all day).
He just got married and told me NO when I said I wanted a family photo bc he was tired and his feet/back hurt. Yet he posed after that point for additional photos. (I am certain about the timeline as my father was the professional photographer).
I received my Mother’s Day gift this year before we returned from the wedding. He wanted me to have a bracelet. But he purchased the bracelet for his new wife and they somehow sent two so I got the free/extra one.
He just texted me to split the cost for a $270 le creuset pot for my husband for Father’s Day.
He went to Disney and bought gifts for all family members. While I do collect bags, I was surprised at my gift…the shopping bag (from the store) that my husband’s gift came in.
I truly do not care about the cost of one item vs another persons gift. My husband gets a little annoyed that some of my favorite holiday gifts from him are the cheap little things he picked up along the way. BUT those gifts are thoughtful. Where I am concerned with my son, i have somehow shifted from I am thinking about you to an afterthought.
My sister keeps telling me that it’s a phase but honestly it feels worse than that. Especially when I’m missing out on milestone moments (like wedding photos).
How do I handle this so that he can actually hear the hurt that I’m feeling??