How to word a friendship breakup text
The person I considered my best friend has sucked for the last year. Before that we would call multiple times a week for hours just chat and get chores done. We lived together for 2 years and drove to each other’s cities often to hang out.
Almost a year ago we hung out for the last time which I didn’t know at the time because usually we saw each other every couple of weeks. Our hang out ended on a tense note and I wasn’t sure why. We had been hanging out with some of her fitness form work and maybe she didn’t like me interacting with them but I have multiple times so that doesn’t seem like the cause. Like I have reviewed every second multiple times and really tied to look in the light least favorable to myself and unless I’m hugely oblivious I don’t think I did anything to warrant her being upset, but sometimes she gets that way (kinda grumpy) and I just tolerate it because we will go back to normal. Also it was my birthday so that was kind of a bummer.
Since then I haven’t heard from her unless I reach out. This was so abnormal because we were in pretty damn frequent communication. Even then she would just respond to my question and not say anything back. Finally I asked what was wrong and told her that I’m sorry because I clearly missed something and hurt her. She said that there was no issue and that she’s just been busy. (I know her schedule it’s not that busy that you couldn’t start a text over 5 months)
After that I just stopped and now it’s been another 6 months and I haven’t heard from her once since I’m no longer making the effort. I had tried to be patient because we both have had depression and tasks seem so difficult even if it’s texting but not once has she asked how I’d been and basically the last time we hung out together I had just finished significant depression treatment. I’ve been devastated because this was the person I would talk to all the time, send stupid thoughts or funny things I’d see throughout the day and vice versa.
Since then I’ve really thought about our friendship and it’s starting to become clear to me that it was very uneven. I had even joked that she only loved me for manual labor which was funny at the time, but I’ve helped rearrange her apartment twice, set up her planters on her second floor deck, and we would almost always do what she wanted to do. At the time it didn’t bother me because I am pretty go with the flow and I just liked hanging out. If she was visiting me, she would take time out to go to the next city to see a boy she liked (this parts fine I wanted her to have more connections after she moved) but would spend much of the time of us hanging out just talking about him and if he canceled plans she would literally sob for hours and I would just comfort her. Not to say she’s never doing things for me but going through every instance it feels like at the time what I thought was even was really much more weight on me.
With that really long background done (though it’s hard to avoid after 7 years of close friendship) I want to put into words how she has hurt me. And I know this is petty and a little toxic, I want her to hurt a little, to truly know how much it sucks that I’ve simply been dropped from her life. Also she has some of my stuff and I have some of hers (again 7 years) so in my text message I also want to schedule the exchange.
Any suggestions on what to write would be deeply appreciated. Thank you for reading!