u/Fluffy-Delivery1531

So i don't find Indian men attractive. The ones that I see around me all look unattractive to me. so far I've found only one who was a childhood crush. Is it just me or does anyone else feel the same? It probably has to do with my childhood. I was unattractive as a kid and not until I turned 19 i experienced only bullying from boys my age so I cut them off completely. Now I don't find them attractive anymore. I was dark and skinny. Which was considered ugly af and even though now I have changed a lot appearance wise. I don't find men around me attractive anymore. When I was ugly i convinced myself that maybe I deserve better and that's how I protected myself from these losers who themselves look hideos but would bully dark skinned girls like me to a point that I would start hating my own kind. I wouldn't go to great lengths to hurt others for revenge but I can't like people the same way that i once tried and got rejected and hated. what should I do?