u/Fluffamorphis_369 — reddlx

This song was written during study hall where obsessively playing solitaire wasn't calming me down. I just wanted to share it somewhere, and please be nice!

I’m not a rubber band
I can’t stretch and bend any way you pull me.
I’m not a little ball of clay,
Molding, melting into your mold.
I’m not rubber, I’m not clay, molten metal.
I’m only flesh and bone.
My bones will snap,
My flesh will tear,
My skin will leak blood red as roses.
Roses far more beautiful than the mold you have for me.

I’m sorry for my scarred, ugly skin that leaks.
I’m sorry for my flesh that won’t stretch, only tear.
I’m sorry for my breaking bones,
My red, red blood that will only stain and cause a scene.

This mold doesn’t fit me,
It doesn’t look like me at all
It changes all the time,
Yet always looks like that girl who “doesn’t matter.”
But can never seem to get out of your hair

I’m sorry, I’m not your little rubber girl
I’m sorry your mold is too small, too tight for me.
…
Do you even want me at all?

So, as the title says. I'm going through a "pregnancy scare" right now. I'm 16, and the only possible father (my boyfriend) is 17, so we are both scared. I really doubt that I'm pregnant, and I'm not THAT nervous, but my mom wants to take all the possible precautions. She went to pick up a pregnancy test from the store and is setting up an appointment to get me birth control. My boyfriend is terrified and has been nervous all day, but I think I've mostly calmed him down.

However, my mom has been really calm, kind, and supportive, and I realized how lucky I am to have a mom like her. She's not mad at all and just wants to make sure I'm safe.

I want to be a mom when I'm older. While I want my kids to be better than me and not have pregnancy scares at my age from reckless behavior, I hope I give them the same support my mom is giving me.

Btw, we DID wear a condom and were VERY careful, but we know there is always a small chance I could be pregnant. I haven't taken a test yet and am just waiting.

Be safe and wear condoms ❤️