u/Flibb25

I am (M, 37) undiagnosed ASD and partner (F, 37) is diagnosed ADHD. She suffers with a lot of anxiety and depression episodes and I really struggle with how to manage them. I end up getting angry or feel low myself which is the complete opposite of what I want to do. She needs kindness and compassion and I just shut down and can't handle it.

Is this a thing? I need help as it's (among other things) destroying our relationship.