I'm struggling and could use some outside advice. I am a manager for a small company- less than 40 total people and only 5 in my department. I have a lot of autonomy over employment decisions in my department, but there are certainly people above me who have final say. One of my hourly employees (let's call them Alex) suffered the death of their spouse three months ago. It was tragic and unexpected and they are understandably heartbroken and grieving. I am trying my best to be both a friend and manager, but that line is difficult at times.
I cannot possibly understand their grief and I do not judge their healing process. The friend in me wants to give Alex all the leeway they need for as long as they need. How can I possibly put a timeline on grief? The manager in me is struggling because work is not being completed at the same level (understandable and something I can live with for a period of time) and I have reason to believe Alex is abusing the time clock (something that isn't fair to the other employees).
I know the employee wasn't happy with the company bereavement policy (5 paid days, then they have to use PTO time). The company did not require them to come back to work on a certain day and would have approved a part-time schedule or FMLA leave. Alex was upset at having to use PTO after the initial five days and believes the company should have given them as much time as they needed. Alex was out three weeks before choosing to return to work. Everyone understood, we missed having them at the office, but other employees covered their work without complaint because everyone empathizes with the situation. Alex does still have a PTO balance of more than two weeks, but won't earn more until January.
We can see the clock in/out records of all of the other employees in my branch. Since returning to work, on two occassions, I have found that Alex has left the office, is gone for a few hours and does not clock out. They return to the office for an hour at the end of the day and clock out when they leave for the night. There have been a couple of other inconsistencies as well. The bigger problem is that two of the other people in my department have noticed when they clock/in out (Alex is clocked in but not present.) Co-workers suggested maybe Alex forgot and were mentioning it to me to help fix it, not because they were suspicious.
I didn't want to directly confront Alex (I know, I know) because I had reason to believe it was deliberate based on their complaints about bereavement leave and knowing they were trying to build time on certain days in order to leave early on others. Instead, I asked everyone to double check timecards for accuracy, make sure they were consistently logging breaks. etc. Alex made a change to one inconsistency, but did not change the 3-4 hours I know they were not working.
I broached the subject with my HR in loose terms and got the impression they would sympathize and offer ability to take leave, but enforce the rules and potentially discipline if the behavior repeated. I know and understand why. Stealing time is wrong for lots of reasons, no matter the tragedy. It's just that it was tragic and I'm struggling with how to address. As direct manager, any discipline or direct approach has to involve me. I've tried to talk to Alex about FMLA leave and how they're doing, but they tell me they're in therapy and need the routine of the office right now.
Alex has another appointment this week. I'm almost afraid to look at their timecard. If I don't look, I don't know and I don't have to do anything about it. If I don't look, and someone else does, eventually co-workers will get suspicious/upset. Alex has been out a lot and it's not consistent- the more they're out, the more others are starting to question what's going on. If they find Alex clocked in again when they're not working, people will get upset.
I know I have to say something. I know I've written a book. I just don't know how to tell Alex the timecard issue isn't "fair" to others when they're going through such an unfair tragedy right now?