Giving a maid of honor speech at a wedding next week! Thoughts?
Here’s my speech:
Alrighty, before I begin this speech, I have a request for the bride and groom. Jane, can you place your hand on the table right by Eric? Now Eric, I want you to place your hand on top of Jane’s. I want you two to take a breath and cherish this moment. Especially you Eric, because now that you’re married, that is the last time you will ever have the upper hand in your relationship…
Hi everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Ella and I have the joy and privilege of being Jane’s maid of honor today. For those of you who do know me, don’t look so nervous. I’m looking at you Eric…I’ll go easy on you today.
I’ve known Jane since we were xx years old. We looked a lot different back then. Jane was obsessed with giant Jojo Siwa bows in her hair, and I didn’t know how to manage my hair so I looked like Albert Einstein. We became best friends because we both loved making and wearing so many rubber band bracelets that we looked like we were brand ambassadors for Office Depot or Staples. We also really enjoyed squeaking our instruments in band class. It sounded like a choir of angry cats, but to us, it was the funniest sound in the world. Mom1 and mom2 - we’re sorry for making your ears bleed. We also loved playing the weirdest songs from YouTube you’ll ever hear (and we definitely don’t still enjoy doing that). We were the definition of middle school awkwardness.
Even though we were only in the xxth grade, I knew Jane was going to be a lifelong friend. I knew it from the first time she came over to my house. This is because my brother, who was two at the time, decided he was going to impress Jane by pretending to be a dinosaur. To show off just what a cool dinosaur he was, he ate a significant amount of paper and chased Jane around the house trying to bite her butt. Nothing like a friendly welcome. But I figured if a friend sticks around after that, you’ve found someone special.
I felt that same certainty when Eric came along in high school. I knew he was the one for Jane because he wasn't afraid to be just as silly as we were. He looked out for her, he cared for her, and he even dealt with my constant teasing about his attempt to grow a mustache. I could tell how much Jane loved him. I mean, when your best friend no longer mentions how cute she finds Theo James from the Divergent movies, you know it’s serious.
Watching the two of you grow together has been a beautiful thing. One of my favorite things about Jane and Eric is that they never fail to include people in their joy. In high school, they always let me tag along—even when I was the professional third wheel at prom. And sure, Eric tried to scare us both by hopping a median and driving on the wrong side of the road after prom, but that’s how I learned that being a "car guy" doesn’t always mean being a "great driver." See, the two of them always teach me something new!
But on a serious note, during a really tough period in my life during my first year of college, Jane and Eric were there almost every single weekend to see me at my dorm. They planned activities, invited me to go with them, and kept me laughing. They were the bright spot I needed most. And that is who they are: people who share their light, even when things feel dark. And for that, I will be forever grateful.
To Jane— I’m so happy you’ve found your person. It was hard for me to find the words for this speech, because there’s so many wonderful things about you I could say. It is one of the greatest joys of my life to watch you grow into the woman you are today. Im constantly in awe of your ability to make life fun, to lead with your heart, and brighten up any room. Thank you for sticking by me through thick and thin. There is never a dull moment when we’re together, and I am so thankful that I have someone in my life who always helps me seek out the joy in life.
To Eric- remember to love Jane, cherish her, and protect her. As the waiter at the rehearsal dinner said, it is better to be happy than to be right. Remain kind and thoughtful. And don’t forget to take Jane to Sephora and Dutch Bros every once in a while. Happy wife, happy life, right?
To Susan, Bob, and Joe, thank you for always being so kind to me and my family. Thank you for opening up your home and treating me as one of your own. I love you all.
To conclude, I’ll use the wise words of Michael Scott from The Office: “Webster's Dictionary defines 'wedding' as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Well, you know something? I think you guys are two metals. Gold medals.”
Jane and Eric, you truly are gold. Lean on each other, support each other, and through any tough time, just remember… it could be worse. Eric could try to grow that mustache again.
I wish you a lifetime of love and happiness. I love you guys. Congratulations!