u/Flaky-Lack-1377

Went out with my husband for our 5 year anniversary. We have 2 kids under 4 years old. My grandmother watched them. We were gone from 5pm-10pm. We stopped by a local bar and hung out with some people we know. I got a little tipsy of course. Now I’m back at home and I just long for more. I feel like going out for this amount of time every single time is not enough. I feel like I long for a different life or at least my old life. My husband and I used to do everything together especially going out and getting drunk, having a blast. It’s just not the same and I get so down because I feel like I can’t do this anymore. Most days I’m fine with it but sometimes I just really feel down. I want to go out and get plastered for once and have someone like my mom or my grandma watching my kids. The problem is that we have to have them spend the night here which they would be willing to do. Idk I’m sorry I’m just ranting. My husband is wonderful and a great dad. I love him so much but his daily life of course did not change as much as mine did. He said why don’t you go hang out with your friends and I’ve tried to with a couple of mom friends I know but something always comes up and we cancel. It just sucks. His friends don’t cancel because they don’t have their kids that weekend or they just do whatever they want. Still to this day - I miss myself. I miss who I was. I would love to just go back for a day to have no worries about kids. I love my kids but this is the hardest thing ever even though my son was born 3.5 years ago. I have severe FOMO too cause I feel like I’m missing out on so much when my husband goes out with his friends.