Last year I failed my shodan grading, today I finally made it!
After failing I contemplated giving up, it was devastating. I had been training as a brown belt for 10 years, but due to a change in the federation and exam process some parts of the exam got rearranged and the testing parameters shifted a lot. I failed and as someone who battles with depression and low self esteem I felt my world crumbling at my feet.
I took a 4 months stop then got back to training with a different teacher, one way more aligned to my values, and today I finally made it!
I’m a black belt!
I know this is just a new beginning, but one I really needed and was desperate to achieve. It was tough, really though, but my teacher was super supportive and thanks to her and her teachings I made it!
I improved a lot, I fixed some of my techniques (still have a lot to fix but at least now I can do it without the pressure of an incoming exam).
I’m so happy!
I’m just writing this for all those people that feel stuck, maybe because of a failed test or something else, there is a light at the end of the tunnel you just need to find a supportive environment, not one like the previous one where I was training, where insults and guilt tripping was the norm, one where you can make mistakes and enjoy the process.
After 17 years of training I’m finally a black belt!!
I’m so grateful for the teacher and community I found in my new gym, it really changed everything, it made me want to continue to train not just for the belt but because I actually enjoy the process.