u/Fit_Negotiation5830

married guy here 63 married 37, we are still together despite having a 35 year old daughter with Aspergers, Oppositional Defiant & low IQ to name a few.
My wife and I do not argue but we do have the silent treatment.
Today my wife and I went out fir lunch with her aunt and uncle (long time friends of her parents) annd came home. Did a few things, got seeds ready to plant but needed to vac the living room where I was taking seeds out of last year’s pods. dropped them and vac the mess. Daughter already i. meltdown mode. I put the vac away and told daughter that I was done with vac and she could use it before doing towels (wash and fold and put away on mon and thursday) and take her shower. I thought I was getting her out of meltdown mode but AGAIN I was given silence because I was enabling her which my wife thinks as disrespecting her. And she is mad again.

Any thoughts?