31 and Still Trying to Catch a Break: I Hate Having to be so Resilient
I feel unbelievably defeated. I’m 31, and it feels like I just cannot catch a break.
As the oldest of three in a Middle Eastern family living in Canada, a lot of the financial pressure falls on me. My dad invested his life’s work back home, and those assets are basically worthless now. At the same time, I’m trying to help support family overseas, we’ve recently had deaths in the family, and I do not want that burden falling on my younger siblings.
Career-wise, I know I’m smart and capable. I work in evidence generation and health economics, and I’ve been in the field for over five years. I’ve been promoted consistently, but I’m still underpaid. Every time I apply for better opportunities, I either get auto-rejected, ghosted, or dropped after interviews. I’ve done everything I can think of: networking, referrals, LinkedIn outreach, resume rewrites, tailored applications, personalized cover letters, AI tools. Every rejection cuts deeper.
For years, I was also pursuing medicine while helping at my family’s restaurants. I wrote the MCAT five times and could never get all the sections to line up at once. I know now medicine probably was not the right path for me, but I still struggle with the fact that I could have at least been financially stable enough to support my family.
Meanwhile, I’m 31, still living with my parents, driving a 20-year-old car, and unable to even think about building my own life. It makes me feel stuck and deeply behind.
The hardest part is that I am trying. I have great friends, I go to therapy, I’m medicated for my ADHD, and I try to stay grounded in my faith as a practicing Muslim. I’m not giving up hope.
But I am exhausted. It takes so much energy to keep being patient when nothing feels like it’s falling into place. I just need something to finally go right for once.