u/Fit_Butterscotch4796

My cousin and I were brought up basically as sisters and we have been close our entire lives up until this last year.

She married a man (for this posts sake his name is Jack and she's Lily) who is just a bit of an idiot a few years ago and I've always sensed he doesn't like me. I mean, I don't particularly like him but he'd never know that. He's rude and a show off. The first time he came to my house he just insulted it - saying I had cheap flooring and my colour choice was tacky. Anyway.

Last summer she obviously came to the same realisation that I (and so many others) had about Jack as she had an affair and then split up with him. It's all really messy and even if he is an idiot, I don't condone her behaviour whatsoever and did tell her this when she told me that she and this other man were in love. Long story short, she got back with Jack and he supposedly knows nothing of the affair. I basically haven't really heard from her since.

I will admit, when she got back with him I felt a little hesitant to be too involved in their lives because 1) I knew all about the affair and he didn't, 2) she told me she wished Jack would die, because it would make her life a lot easier and that he makes her physically sick and 3) I just didn't buy the fact that they are all of a sudden happier than ever. I also told her mum what I thought of him, as she did me, because we all thought it was definitely over, but it wasn't.

There are 4 of us cousins and we have always been a group and go out together etc, and back in February they all went out with their partners without inviting me and mine and the other two cousins messaged me the next morning and profusely apologised for excluding me from this event. I heard nothing from Lily and haven't since. I am currently pregnant so don't feel like confronting her as I feel I will get quite upset and don't want the stress but also I am feeling quite hurt by it all. I even facetime her the day before and she never mentioned anything.

Then it was their son's birthday the other week, to which my son got an invitation to via a big family group chat (so it wasn't personally sent) and we went. Jack completely ignored me, I looked at him a few times to speak but he wouldn't even look at me. Lily spoke but barely. I felt so uncomfortable and was never even offered a drink or anything whilst I was there by them, it was only an hour and a half after being there that her mum (my aunt) did. Again, no personal thank you for our gift (I got him a Lego set which was expensive!) just a generalised one in a group chat.

In addition to all of this, she's ignored every advance I've made in the cousins group chat - asking if people are doing anything/just generally gossiping/comments in group chats. I also had a spare ticket to the theatre one night back in November and offered it to her and she ignored me. She's shown no interest in my pregnancy whatsoever.

AITA for judging her affair? Is this her issue with me? Or the fact I spoke my mind about Jack when they split up? What do I do in this situation?