Am I being unreasonable about my sister’s dog?
I’m looking for some outside perspective because this has turned into a pretty emotional situation with my sister.
I have two young kids 3 and 5, my sister has a dog (Rotti), and is a first time dog owner. I am NOT a dog person and have previous trauma with dogs. Over the past 2 years, the dog has been a bit rough with the kids—jumping up, cornering them, etc. We’ve tried to work through it. We’ve done walks together, visits, and even some intentional exposure to help my kids get more comfortable.
A month ago the dog bit two people. One was reportedly provoked, and the other involved resource guarding (the person went near a toy). Since then, my comfort level has changed a lot.
My sister is working with professionals and says the incidents were situational, and that the dog isn’t generally dangerous. She’s been told to manage things like toys, use a leash, supervise closely, etc. She doesn’t think full separation (like crating when we’re over) is realistic.
From my perspective, regardless of the context, the bites increased the risk. I’m not comfortable having my kids around the dog unless there is full separation right now.
This has caused tension. She feels like I’m not willing to work toward a long-term solution or “co-exist,” and has said things like “our anxiety of dogs is affecting the kids”, “work on your dog trauma”, “we need to watch them better”. I feel like I have tried, but I’m also not willing to take on managing or troubleshooting her dog.
At this point, I’ve said we either need full separation when we visit, or we don’t come over. Am I being unreasonable here? How do people normally handle situations like this with family and dogs?