u/FitFish7762

I've been married for almost 20 years, but realized I am happier alone in all instances. I never want to live with anyone again. I don't miss him when he was away on trips or out with his friends. I only enjoy walks alone, going out dancing alone and cooking bland foods that suit my taste. I don't enjoy sex, complex or serious conversations, or socializing. I feel stress and anxiety around not disappointing or pissing off my husband. I don't enjoy cleaning any mess that he makes. I hate being the breadwinner and planning for our retirement anxiously. He love bombs me here and there to make up for all our fights as if nothing happened. He has redeeming qualities and has brought many positive experiences in my life, but now that I'm older and know myself more, I rather be alone. Do you think a spouse like that will accept my reason for divorce is that I want to be alone? I am scared about his reaction and I might cave and stay.