im a pashtun girl (khattak, from karak) and im dealing with a really frustrating situation with my parents over marriage.
theres someone i like, hes also pashtun (wazir from north waziristan), and when i told my parents i wanted to marry him they shut it down immediately. they didnt even try to hear me out, didnt ask about his character, his family, nothing. they were more focused on the fact that i liked someone without their involvement and kept saying i went behind their backs.
when i said i have a right to choose my partner, they were like fine, go do a court marriage then, but dont come to us for anything and dont expect support when it fails. they also started saying negative things about wazirs as a whole and that i dont understand because i grew up in the west.
what makes it worse is how inconsistent this feels. my uncle married outside our tribe (his wife is mohmandzai) and everyone accepted it. my brother is also married to an afridi and no one made it about tribe. so it really feels like its not about tribe at all, its about the fact that i chose someone myself and im a girl.
they even gave me these options: either stay in their house for the rest of my life and grow old, go marry him without their acceptance, or marry someone of their choice.
i dont want to go against my family, but i also dont think this is fair. has anyone been in a similar situation? how did you deal with it, and is there any way to get parents to at least hear you out?