Husband cheated and I stayed
2.5 years ago (which was 3 months after our wedding) my husband broke down one night and admitted he cheated in the months before we got married. There were no problems in our relationship and he acknowledged it was entirely on him and I had done nothing wrong. At the time he was struggling to deal with grief, was underperforming at work and smoking weed on a daily basis. He was also having financial issues that I didn't know about. 2 months after we got married I had a miscarriage and I think something in him clicked and he couldn't deal with the guilt of not telling me what he had done. I had no suspicions and if he hadn't of told me I still wouldn't have known now. Despite feeling like my heart had broken into pieces, I didn't want to leave. I asked for every detail of the cheating, and I knew her. She was a long term friend of his best friend, and they ended up in the same friendship group with a couple of others. He told me he had no emotional connection or physical attraction to her and that he didn't want to burden me with his problems so used the sex as an emotional outlet. He told me he wanted to remove her from his life and sort himself out. He didn't want to make contact with her so deleted her number and then changed his own number. I told him if he wanted me to stay he needed to stop smoking weed, which he did do and hasn't gone back to it. He put himself into therapy to help him cope with the grief he was dealing with and also discussed the cheating with his therapist. He's doing much better at work and is now getting good bonuses and pay rises. We now have an 18 month old and I'm 20 weeks pregnant with our 2nd. He's an excellent Dad, pulls his weight and has an excellent relationship with our daughter. Despite him sorting himself out I'm still struggling to deal with the cheating and still don't feel like I'm over it. I don't know if it's pregnancy hormones or just being touched out from our toddler needing my attention all day but intimacy with my husband feels weird now and kissing him feels forced. He doesn't push anything on me and if I say no then he understands. I go through phases of thinking everything is fine and then I get in my head about it. Right now I feel like it's going to get worse but I don't want us to separate. We have fun together and make each other laugh. We have been together for a long time now, 15 years. I just don't want to keep thinking about it and feeling like this.
I guess I'm just looking for some positive words and for someone to say things will get better and that I'm not weak for staying, because that's how I currently feel.