I(female) have a male friend, and something about his behavior confuses me a lot.
With other people, he’s very friendly, active, talkative he laughs, jokes, keeps conversations going. But with me, he’s often quiet, distant, and gives short answers that kind of kill the conversation. It makes me feel like I’m talking to a wall sometimes.
At first I thought maybe he just doesn’t like me, but then some things don’t match that idea. For example, once I got upset and quietly left his house because I was frustrated with a project. He followed me, asked what was wrong, and said he feels bad when I’m upset. He even suggested getting ice cream or talking it out.
I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong I’ve asked him multiple times (like 4–5 times), and he always says everything is fine.
I’m generally a more reserved person. I keep some distance, don’t touch people much, and don’t get into others’ personal lives unless they open up first. He once pointed out that I seem selfish (which surprised me a bit), and also said I’m the first girl he’s met who isn’t interested in relationships at all.
He notices small details about me, but at the same time, when I try to talk about something I care about, he responds very briefly or doesn’t engage much.
He also has a girlfriend and a lot of friends. I want to make it clear I don’t have romantic feelings for him I just see him as a friend. But it bothers me that he treats me differently.
When I see that he’s not really engaging, I usually just leave the conversation instead of forcing it.
I’ve had male friends before, and usually it’s either:
they’re distant because they’re not interested in the friendship, or we talk easily and naturally
But here it’s mixed signals, and I don’t understand why.
Why would someone act warm and friendly with everyone else but cold with one specific friend while still caring in some situations? Is it something about me, or something on his side?