u/Financial-Wish-1558

It’s been about 28 hours since I euthanised my Siamese cat of 17 years. I was 15 years old when he was brought home, he had advanced stage CKD so the past few months were filled with bringing him back from the edge but this time it was obvious there was no coming back.

What I feel is hard to describe, I have moments of sadness, chest tightness when coming home and realising he’s not there anymore, his empty bowl and litter feel like a dull knife stabbing my chest.

I also feel a sense of relief, and it kills me that I feel that way, like I’m betraying him. I feel like I’m not sad enough or I’m not being sad the right way.