u/Final_Grrl_88

So if you haven't read my last post, I was scheduled for a lapro hysterectomy and keeping my ovaries. My doctor and I talked everything out about the procedure and how important it was for my situation that it be done with the lesser recovery time. Turns out when he went in (May 5th) that my uterus is the size of a babies head and he wouldn't be able to safely remove it the way we discussed. He did remove cysts but I fear that was like putting a band aid over a bullet wound. My pain is still present and it was awful last night and this morning. I'm going to call my doctors office and see about getting in earlier than my end of the month "post op" appointment. There were a few moments where I got really down on myself (Why didn't I just go ahead with the open procedure?) and moments where I questioned my support system on if they would actually help me or not. It's been a rough week and throwing a not so great Mothers Day still having the pain just made me want to sleep all day. But I'm not going to let this blip keep me from the end result. Thank you all for the comments and the support. I probably wouldn't have been able to get through this if I didn't vent to people that can understand what I'm going through. Hopefully I'll have some better news/updates for the next post. Much love 🫶

My doctor went in and saw that my uterus has grown to almost the size of a baby's head and he couldnt safely do the laproscopic hysterectomy. He didnt want to switch up to a full open hysterectomy without consulting me first, which I completely understand and admire about him. But my heart broke when we discussed everyrhing after I woke up. He did remove cysts, saying it was at least one thing to help with my pain. So when I go back for my post op, we will be discussing what to do and how to proceed. I cried the whole way home because I just want this to be over. I trust my doctor 100 percent though. And I am not ready in my work/personal life to have accommodated the open hysterectomy. He said he'll do everything he can to make sure we can get it done soon. He mentioned Lupron may be an option to help shrink the uterus so that way we can try a laproscopic route again down the road. But I'll wait until the post op to hear about any and all other options he comes up with. Edit to add: we did discuss the possible option for the open hysterectomy before, but being that im a single mother on a retail assistant manger income, I know im not ready to take that much time off work along with taking care of my daughter while recovering. I do qualify to get FMLA time in a month or so, so im going to find the silver lining from today and take this as a blessing that maybe it just needs a little postponement so I can have peace of mind. I trust him completely though as he knows what kind of situation im in. Im in a relatively small town and the fact that he has a lot of other patients yet still remembers the little things is one of the reasons why Im okay with his decision today.

I learned so much about what to expect and what to do for after the procedure. Im having a total lapro hysterectomy on the 5th, but keeping the ovaries unless they are compromised. I've been having painful fibroids for about a year and a half so my doctor and I have finally come to an agreement that it's time. I am both relieved and terrified but this group has helped alleviate some of the fears. I do have one question tho: since I plan to keep the ovaries, will my moods be better/improved since ill still have the hormones produced naturally? I know its kind of a "everyone is different" situation, but I have been diagnosed with depression and while I know there isn't a real fix all, I dont want a really low low if that makes sense. Thanks again everyone for what I've learned already though. Its been eye opening for sure.