u/Final_Ad_5809

I'm 15 and my parents I feel are trying to get involved with me too much now, it's kind of pathetic. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to talk to them about anything and I feel like they're trying to hard to get along with me and be involved with my life when they didn't care as much as before. My mother is more worried about my internet life and my "online safety" I guess to the point where my SH has become an after thought for her.

I struggle sometimes but I've been clean for 26 days (nearly a month/27 days woohoo!) and I still feel like I might slip up. I feel more comfortable talking to my friends and people online more than them about it if that says anything.

My mother is genuinely becoming way too stressful for me and I hate it, I hate her and everything she has to stand for, she sucks so much. I hate her a lot and she's now trying to be more involved all because of something stupid, I feel like I might relapse but I don't want to, I really don't, I hope I don't.

But with my mom breathing down my neck I don't know how much longer I can go on like this, I feel like my parents are just against me at this point, and I constantly hear them talking about me in the other rooms of the house since the walls are thin.

I wish I could care about this more but I really can't, I'm scared she doesn't get me and I don't want to be involved with either of them anymore.

I'm thinking about stopping communication with them entirely due to this and I really don't want to be around them ever again but I still am legally required to live with them so I don't know what to do. I feel like they're both against me and are getting to involved with me, and don't say "they just care about you" because I don't believe that.

I just wish they would understand I don't want to talk with them anymore or feel involved in their life anymore. I hate being the only one in the family who's weird and different, I hate that I'm not a "normal kid" I guess.

I (15F) don't know why but I just feel so empty after the week, my friends usually don't talk to me, my online friends don't talk to me much either, and I've really tried my best but I try not to text first in case I may make them mad or something. I feel like deep down nobody actually likes me, even my parents.

I tend to have outbursts (usually targeted towards my mother) and I don't know why. I just want to feel like how she feels but I don't know how, she has a learning disability so it's kind of hard for her to understand me and me to understand her a lot of the time. And my stepfather says I can talk to him at anytime but I don't know how because I just think he'll tell my mom what I said and then she'll yell and ask me why I think like that and probably forget the fight by tomorrow because of her bad short term memory.

I want to make a meaningful connection with someone but almost all the people I meet irl or online either 1. don't like me (because of how I look or talk) 2. don't talk to me (because they don't like how I can ramble on and on) 3. ignore me (because I'm annoying or they want to talk to another person) or 4. are creeps (self explanatory, mostly online). I've only met a few people online who I haven't felt sick while talking too and even then I still don't know how to feel about all of this, I can't exactly feel bad but I can't exactly feel good either.

I've been clean from SH for 23 days but I don't know if I can hold on anymore, my hardest time was last night when nobody talked to me. At all. And I thought about it, I have the means to do so, but I refrained and thought for a long time and I didn't. I hope I can make it to a month soon.

I have trouble with emotions and emotional connections because my mom never really tried to make one with me until later in life when I didn't want it anymore. She wasn't raised the way I was so I understand why she was so hesitant, she was raised in an abusive household and I was raised the opposite so she doesn't exactly know how to connect that well. She even scooted away or didn't respond when I tried to hug her when I was younger.

My father also doesn't understand why I'm like this even though he walked out on mom and I and then came back like nothing had happened at all. Obviously him and my mom aren't together anymore but yeah.

I wish I could make connections, I wish I could feel actual emotional bonds and feel good about it, I wish I could be all this things I ain't. But I think I can stay clean for another day and I hope I do. That's all that really matters to me right now, really.

I made a friend on Spacehey (not going to disclose anything about them including gender, name, or anything in particular) so to keep it simple we'll call them G. I'm scared how G is talking about themself and their statuses, they'll go offline for hours on end, I believe due to work and all that and I wish to help them. They're a good person but I'm scared, they have self esteem issues like I do.

I want to help them badly but I don't know how, they just drop off for hours and don't respond for long amounts of time too. I've sent them texts and I hope they're doing okay right now. I think I may be overreacting but I can't help it, I've always cared about people, it's just my job as another human being. I just hope they're okay is all. I just need some advice and see if it's possible to help them is all, please and thank you all.

Update made shortly after, I do not know what they are going through personally like that but they have told me that they've had self esteem issues before and have struggled with being lonely.

I (15F) am perfectly just average. I'm not ugly but I'm not pretty, I'm not smart but I'm not dumb, I'm good and bad at art, it's weird.

I try my best, I get A's in all of my classes (except English [C/B] and French 2 [B] for some reason), I read everyday and try to draw everyday too and I don't understand how I'm still just average.

Also I'm currently reading the stand and I might start posting art here if you want to view it ig.