trade school it is lol
took 3 exams today. probably failed all of them. one of the exams was only 40 minutes (it was an asynch class but it took it in person) but i still shat myself. was never a good test taker but this might be a new low. should've found a way to reschedule or ask but i never did
still don't know how to study effectively. it takes a massive effort for me to even be focused or sit around in one place. my mind is like a jungle 24/7. the moment i finally got to focus fucking canvas shut down. and then when it's too late i end up cramming and i don't sleep so i come in with tired and unfocused and the exam deals the killing blow
am a senior now watching all my friends about to graduate and i feel mentally inept compared to my peers. i'm about a year behind in terms of credits, but im probably like 3 years behind in general to be honest. where did it go wrong? probably a lack of motivation, maybe i didn't have my heart in it and i should've listened to the people who told me to switch and leave engineering. i kept ignoring them cuz of my stupid pride. maybe it's because i didn't want my parents to see me as a failure more than they already do. or maybe i'm just a lazy bum.
probably gonna do trade school or some shit. i just don't see a future here anymore unless i get lucky and somehow pass this semester. need to figure out how to change my life
also saw multiple people cheat on the first two exams i did. i just don't know at this point. whats the point of a curve if people are getting good grades off of zero effort. be a man and flunk like me thanks