My father always imposed his choices on everyone around him who is technically under his control, i am struggling financially and part of the reason is my father.
He never encouraged or gave an environment for academic studies, we somehow did our bachelors but we were never really into studies, my sister is into a dead end IT job in the same company where she started working (10 years i think ) with her married life and health falling apart.
My father did the most experimenting on me, he was also not very much keen on me to attend college, always asked me take some random insurance agent license (i was never interested, nor was he) it's just a way of collecting various things which might lead to some income, he also made me take a Law degree (3 years) where we just have to copy in exams (we dint even have to attend college) i never used that degree, he made me leave my 1st job after college and got me employed with his rich friend (I was also interested in this opportunity) the rich friend never taught me anything, he had a garment factory, eventually (after 1 year of doing nothing much) with my father's investment, i was sent to China for a procurement job, i never like the country, (i tried adjusting i just never liked it) i was making good money there, i had to come back in between to give my Law exams, i was also not very financially literate, i used to spend on rent a lot and used to save some, but never invested or made assets, i did save some money and sent it back to my father for safe keeping, he later refused to give me back the money (another story),
eventually i came back when the China job was done, my father always imposed this idea that we are this businessmen and he is always there for me, he never had any business, he used to loan people money and charge hefty interest, he carries this fake social persona and actually dont like anyone, he tells people stories which is told to him by someone, i rarely saw him working, his paperwork is a mess, his office is filled with old files and he spends his time just randomly socializing to get some opportunity of making money, he do make money sometimes and is very diligent with his savings but he never established a proper work /business, his regular income comes from some office properties he rents out in a low income area and never takes care or renovates them, personally he is always anxious, wakes up at 4 in morning and keeps on taking naps in between and gets tired easily, he don't eat well, nor he spends on the lifestyle, he has 3 houses one of which he uses for himself and rest he rented out, he is also a compulsive liar and cannot take any kind of feedback, communication with him is very one way and he is infamous for losing his temper instantly. My father used our (mother, sister, employee) bank accounts to basically move money for people to make some cash.
He also kept / keeps very bad company, both personally and professionally and people manipulated him into taking unsecured loans from him and never paying back, he used to involve us (family) socially with them.
I was separated 5 years ago and my mother passed away 3 years ago which took a toll on my mental health, i had some saving before separation and i dint work much, after my mother's death i started working properly again and by that time i had lost all of my savings, my father dint help me much, i used to live in the property owned by my father in the same building he lived (it's a common practice in our community) and later shifted to a nearby city on rent, my uncle gave one of his flat to me when i was about to become homeless.
I realized that before my separation my career was mostly free flowing, i was doing whatever came my way and never had a practical plan or understanding of building a proper career, i am from a small business community (North India) and a lot of my peers are continuing their father's business, the ones who did not have a business were engaged in proper jobs after doing masters, i dint fall into any category, i have seen people in my community falling into poverty mostly because of a father (Patriarchal setup), also my successful peers are much more confident and has a decided career path which they are constantly working on since they started working, they also received a good social and financial capital from their fathers, i have changed my career at least 4-5 times.
My father did however invested in a business with me when i freshly came back from china and was making money (increasing my value for my father) thinking i have become some hotshot, the business was a disaster since the 1st day, we both lost our respective investments, he more than me.
I had all the internal beliefs that my father had / have, i did that he asked me to do which lead to my downfall, i am disciplined and diligent since the beginning but i was never present in the moment which made me very less intuitive and underconfident, i always tried working hard with people and in places which i never liked, and it lead to major burnouts, also my father taught me to basically beg rich people (in his own language) but i could never do what he used to do, i did try it but it left me feeling so bitter.
My 1st boss was also somewhat like this, always bootlicking the MD, was condescending and never really had much to teach me, her work profile is still confusing, carried the same trauma and attracting same people like my father.
I have debts, my meals are not proper, i haven't bought new clothes in years, i have a better understanding of working world in general, i dont fight with people and i remain calm under pressure but i still have a long way to go.
I am slowly understanding what, how and with whom i want to work with, i did a lot of internal work and very deeply, i know people can only be themselves and they might mean well as well, my father, my 1st boss but it totally crashed my career and sometimes i am angry at them, it leaves me frustrated.