u/Few-Lavishness623

If you guys are eating out in a full service restaurant with tipped servers, do you prefer the old fashioned method of giving them your card that they run then present back to you with a pen and copy of the bill you sign and tip, or the digital version some restaurants do now where they run your card on a tabletop or handheld tablet and you select the tip amount yourself in front of the server. The former is less awkward as you're not choosing the tip with the server standing right there, even if they can't see what you tip, but it lets them enter the tip themselves later which as we've seen they're not always honest about and sometimes add money to your bill without permission. The tablets/ handheld toast devices make this impossible, you choose the tip and sign it and the transaction is finished, can't be edited by the server later, but it puts more pressure on the customer to tip well.

Met up with some extended family members at a corporate chain restaurant for lunch today, there's a huge sign right inside their front door where you wait to be seated that says %20 gratuity may be added to parties of 8 or more. There were 10 of us but this included 2 kids and a baby who didn't eat anything. My sister in law complained as soon as we were seated that the host saw her carrying a baby and didn't offer a high chair, booster seat or anything, and she had to get it herself. The waiter who ended up being ours visibly reacted to that. There were zero problems with the service and we caused zero problems for the waiter. We put it on one check for 10 people thinking this was a huge favor to a waiter, even though it's a lot for my one family member to pay and we have to pay him back for our individual ticket costs.

What annoyed me was I overheard our waiter and like 3 other employees talking and laughing in their little break area near our table about how they love applying auto grat to "tables like that." He said he knew we'd be trouble before we sat because of the complaint about no baby seat. We were nothing but polite and respectful after that. Our waiter and the others were laughing about their favorite terms for auto grat- one of them complained that she had a difficult table but it was only 6 people so she couldn't grat them. one of them said what's my favorite Pixar movie? Gratatoullie. One made finger gun motions saying "gratatatata!" Which if you don't know is an old vine internet reference. One said what's my favorite Pokémon? Gratatata! They're all laughing so loudly within earshot of us which I thought was rude, and the check was $260 so the auto grat was $52 for making 10 drinks, delivering just a couple of the plates, refills, clearing SOME of the plates, other staff helped run the food and bus the table, and running one check.

Am I wrong to be annoyed that this is even a thing? Aren't gratuities supposed to be optional, not forced based on percentage and not something employees should delight in and joke about?

Met up with some extended family members at a corporate chain restaurant for lunch today, there's a huge sign right inside their front door where you wait to be seated that says %20 gratuity may be added to parties of 8 or more. There were 10 of us but this included 2 kids and a baby who didn't eat anything. My sister in law complained as soon as we were seated that the host saw her carrying a baby and didn't offer a high chair, booster seat or anything, and she had to get it herself. The waiter who ended up being ours visibly reacted to that. There were zero problems with the service and we caused zero problems for the waiter. We put it on one check for 10 people thinking this was a huge favor to a waiter, even though it's a lot for my one family member to pay and we have to pay him back for our individual ticket costs.

What annoyed me was I overheard our waiter and like 3 other employees talking and laughing in their little break area near our table about how they love applying auto grat to "tables like that." He said he knew we'd be trouble before we sat because of the complaint about no baby seat. We were nothing but polite and respectful after that. Our waiter and the others were laughing about their favorite terms for auto grat- one of them complained that she had a difficult table but it was only 6 people so she couldn't grat them. one of them said what's my favorite Pixar movie? Gratatoullie. One made finger gun motions saying "gratatatata!" Which if you don't know is an old vine internet reference. One said what's my favorite Pokémon? Gratatata! They're all laughing so loudly within earshot of us which I thought was rude, and the check was $260 so the auto grat was $52 for making 10 drinks, delivering just a couple of the plates, refills, clearing SOME of the plates, other staff helped run the food and bus the table, and running one check.

Am I wrong to be annoyed that this is even a thing? Aren't gratuities supposed to be optional, not forced based on percentage and not something employees should delight in and joke about?