u/FeistyMeasurement579

I'm not actively depressed or manic (I don't think?) but I have been off my meds for months for bullshit insurance reasons and I am on disability, in poverty, and seriously struggling with self-care (for example, I had to shave my head because my hair got so matted that I couldn't save it). I have also been wearing the same dirty clothes for over a month because of some bullshit I can't afford new ones and when I do keep buying pants, the crotches wear out so damn fast that I have to keep buying more and I am now down to my last pair. I hate this so much. the meds that I had been on previously for years fucked with my weight so bad that I am now trying to figure out how the fuck I'm supposed to lower my BMI from 53 down to the mid-twenties range (I was never thin to begin with, but it has gotten really bad and I no longer have the resources to lose the weight safely without feeling the gnawing physiological and psychological agony of feeling like I am constantly starving... and I have dieted before WITH adequate access to healthy food and medical monitoring and it was STILL bad). I don't even know what to do at this point. If my bipolar disorder don't kill me, the complications of my weight and poverty will. I need help, but I don't even know where to begin and I don't know if medicare will cover what I need or if I will survive long enough to wait until it goes into effect.