Hey everyone,
I (26M) wanted to ask this anonymously because it’s a bit personal, and I’m genuinely interested in hearing what people think, including from people who might have been on the giving end of this stuff too.
I’m Indian-born, but I’ve been in Australia since I was 3. I grew up in rural WA, sound bogan as hell, and Perth has been home for more than 10 years. I’m also very aware there are stereotypes about Indian men, and I’m not trying to pretend those conversations don’t exist or that people haven’t had bad experiences.
For context, my friend groups have always been pretty diverse, and I’ve often felt like I sit in a weird middle space. Too white to be fully brown, too brown to be fully white, if that makes sense. So I’m not coming at this from a place of never being around different cultures or not understanding Aussie banter. I’ve grown up around it.
But honestly, I’m getting tired.
Tired of feeling like I have to constantly prove I’m not a creep. Tired of being judged before I’ve even opened my mouth. Tired of walking into social situations already feeling like I’m on the back foot because of assumptions people might have about me.
Even with work, I sometimes feel like when my name comes up on a job application, there’s already an assumption made before anyone has heard me speak or looked at me properly as a person. I’ve caught myself wanting to call before putting applications through, just so they can hear my voice and realise I’m not whatever version of “Indian bloke” they might have in their head. That’s a pretty cooked thing to feel like you have to do.
And to be clear, I’m not precious about every joke. I grew up here. I know there’s banter, and I can cop banter (its actually something I enjoy with the right people). But there’s a difference between people taking the piss and actual shit that makes you feel like you’re being reduced to your race. Sometimes it’s hard to explain that line without sounding overly sensitive, but it’s definitely there.
Maybe part of this is my own internal sensitivity. Maybe I’m reading into things sometimes because I’ve dealt with it enough that I’m already bracing for it. I’m open to that. But I also don’t think it’s all in my head.
So I guess I’m asking Australians generally, have you dealt with this? Whether you’re Indian, Asian, Middle Eastern, Aboriginal, African, or from any background where people seem to have a preset idea of who you are before they know you, how do you handle it without becoming bitter?
And for people who might recognise themselves on the other side of this, people who have made the jokes, had the assumptions, treated someone differently, or maybe only realised later that they were doing it, I’d honestly like to hear your perspective too.
I’d genuinely love to understand your thinking process so I can better approach and navigate this, and whether anything helped shift your perspective. I’m incredibly grateful for any insights at all, whether they’re positive, negative, or somewhere in between. Really appreciate anyone taking the time to share.
Cheers lads! 😄
**EDIT**: I personally have always referred to myself as Australian, as I feel like I've grown up with and have gelled with the culture and prefer it over my own. Only referred to myself as Australian-Indian for the first time - for context of this post that's all!